So I spent the morning grooming a hamster, but that’s a completely different story. Ooh and by that I mean cleaning its secretion gland and clipping its nails not preparing for Richard Gere!

Anyways, is it mean to confess I’m glad the boys birthdays are over? It was exhausting!

The Nerf Wars party was a great success thanks to the help of our wonderful friends who always go above and beyond. Kayleigh and Matt lifting and shifting and making things happen, Dancing Lou on the teas and coffees and our favourite childcatcher Karen capturing the memories for us. Unfortunately there were a few no shows, but this gave us 9 spare guns and ammunition to form a parents team to shoot the bejesus out of the children and what good therapy it was, for both sides! When I asked Ollie later his favourite part of the day thinking presents, maybe cake he was adamant it was when he shot me in the boob!

Having an older brother and sister the Twinkles are introduced to things in the gaming world sooner than maybe I’d like, but hey, it’s inevitable. So after months of persuasion and good behaviour and a very generous helping hand from Grandad, the boys were rewarded with a birthday / Christmas present of a Nintendo Switch.

It was their dream present, their must have, their reason for living and the key to all future happiness. Yes they are that dramatic and yes maybe they do get it from me.

Well it was almost my downfall! Have you seen the film Falling Down with Michael Douglas? If you haven’t, you should, it’s a belter! Basically he’s one minute late to get a McDonald’s Breakfast and goes on a murderous rampage and even bazookas a whole road (that’s my favourite bit!) So these Nintendos were almost my tipping point McDonalds breakfast!

We’d had the sense to let the boys open their presents in the morning so we could get them on charge. You try holding them back!

However who knew the minefield creating two Nintendo accounts would be?!

Lee had got off work early so we could pick him and Grandad up and go straight to Kaspers for a delectable ice cream extravaganza birthday dinner straight from school. Oh it was magnificent and I’ve been told that calories in there aren’t real as it’s all just a dream.

Anywho we got back from Kaspers and I got to getting the boys on their Switches. Two hours later I called Lee down from his sanctuary to help. He made the grave mistake of saying

“ well I don’t know what you’ve done to it!”

DIVORCE!

Only joking, I politely asked him to go away although in my head I was stabbing him and my eyes let him know that. Bless him, he did retreat, but only to a safe spot from whence he could Google it all.

Somehow something clicked and all of a sudden I got it working. Lee even felt safe enough to give me a hug and a well done punch on the shoulder.

By then it was too late for play and time for bath and bed, for the boys.

As a belated birthday treat we allowed the boys to go straight on their Switch after school the next day instead of going to swimming ( they were pooped in fairness).

Let me tell you what happened.

They played on it for about an hour and then asked to play on their Kindles instead!!!!!!

And you wonder why I drink?

Oh well, I seem to remember the same thing happening with their Kindles last year. They’ll grow to love them and we had an epic family session on Mario Kart last night, Lee won of course!

I wonder if they do controllers so the dogs can join in too? Ooh maybe one that would take them for a walk!

Love and hugs, birthdays done, now the countdown for Christmas begins!

One minute you’re happily driving along in a quest to find Pudsey ears, the next you are being read your rights.

I say happily driving, well as happy as you can be after a long hard day at work, fumes of sleep and two hangry 5 year olds in the back. There’s a possibility I was hangry too. That’s what I contribute the most shameful part of my story to.

I saw the blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror early on. I pulled over as did the car in front, however the car behind had not noticed and proceeded to over take me. Well I was in a honking my horn kind of mood and I gave it one of those long lasting blasts, the sort of gloating ones, only to have the police officer pull up and ask me to pull over. I actually said “what me?” Incredulously.

Harry later told Daddy that I’d been pulled over for beeping at someone angrily, oh the shame. What will they be telling their friends at school? Or their teacher? Harry took great pleasure in telling Mrs Pedler I’d killed a tic with daddy’s slipper and blood had splattered everywhere. I suppose that’s why I’m trying to get in there first.

The policeman asked me if I had any insurance. Well of course I have! It would be ridiculous not to, especially as I’m still waiting the outcome of a driver who drove in to the back of me at a red light over a year ago!

So who is it with? Blimey now you’re asking! Let’s just have a scroll through my emails and or direct debits because it’s £22 a month (good I know!)

Well neither of those came forth and I couldn’t for the life of me remember who I was with, I could remember who I was with before because they were rubbish, hence the lingering court case.

Well that’s when I started to get that anxious feeling like when you’re at the front of the queue waiting to pay with lots of tutting people behind you and you can’t get the last coin out or remember your pin or use the right card.

The policeman described me as flummoxed. Good word.

In the end I admitted defeat, only after telling the officer that if I really didn’t have insurance my husband would kill me, he’s a stickler for the rules.

I did question it a few times mind. How had I managed to get Road tax? I pay by direct debit! Insurance companies always auto renew they don’t just stop. His answer was always that he was just stating the facts.

I apologised several times and said I wasn’t meaning to be argumentative BUT, to which he stated several times that he was not perceiving me to be so. At this point he went and got his coat, I think he could see we were in for the long haul.

What made matters worse was that we were parked on the main road in and out of Weston at rush hour! Buses struggled past and Harry asked why everyone was staring and some even laughing .

Basically he gave me two choices. Either buy insurance then and there so I could drive away or he would have to seize the car, well that was a no brainer. I let him have the car! I wanted to get a decent deal on my insurance! Only joking.

Bless him though. He was very conscious I had Harry and Ollie in the car and chatted away to them. Luckily Harry told him he wanted to be a policeman, Ollie just went with YouTuber!

Oh how I struggled! I couldn’t get my phone to work. Everytime I thought I’d got somewhere I was told I needed to call. Then face recognition wouldn’t work with my glasses. Then the insurance came out at £233 A MONTH! So he let me try a comparison site. He really was jolly nice.

Once I’d shown him I was now lawful he had to cover the part about me driving around willy nilly uninsured! Oh and the fact my car is still registered to the old address. I didn’t correct him on the pronunciation although tempted.

Whilst the officer was pooping back to his car I had to reassure Ollie that we weren’t all going to prison.

The policeman had to read me my rights! At that point I lost it! I actually covered my mouth in shock, wide eyed and burst out crying, telling him I’d never even had a detention at school! It’s true, I hadn’t.

He apologised and soon it was over.

I drove away as carefully as possibly, being sure to mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

I drove to the roundabout to turn round and come home, the Pudsey quest was over.

The kind policeman decided to follow me home to make sure we got there safely.

Harry actually shouted at me I was going too fast, I replied I was driving at 22 miles an hour.

I got home and Lee took over everything, my hero, getting the boys fed, bathed, to bed until I came out of my shock drinking Rose Prosecco in front of the fire. Thank you Grandad for leaving that second bottle!

Lee did however close the evening by getting Alexa to sing “I fought the Law” by The Clash!

So let this be a warning to you my dear friends, especially the ones with brain fog, please check your insurance is up to date and your car is registered to the right address.

I’m not going to lie. The boys are playing on their Kindles in mine and Lee’s room and I’m in the bath at 16:30 on a Tuesday afternoon.

Judge me if you will, but I’m a broken woman surviving on the memory of sleep.

Saturday 5th November we were due to go to a firework display with “Auntie” Lisa and “Uncle” Joe. Didn’t happen. Could have managed the drizzle but Ollie was full of bogies and had the “can’t help its”.

Luckily Grandad had left a variety of sparklers on his last visit so we celebrated with those in the garden and some ultimate hot chocolates and warm mulled wine. Well the neighbours went to town so we pretty much had a different firework display from every side of the house and might well sell tickets next year.

Ollie’s fever didn’t break and could only be maintained with Calpol. He also couldn’t eat or sleep which didn’t help his little body in the crusade against baddies.

After another restless night Sunday I was going to keep Ollie off school and work from home. Unfortunately Harry was not in agreement with this and bless little Ollie if he didn’t try to keep the peace by going and getting ready for school. I didn’t have the energy to fight the force that is Harry so just let it happen. Unfortunately I regretted it come pick up time as Ollie came out a broken man who had apparently had had a cry at break time because everyone was just being too loud.

So, today armed with a little more sleep (we’re only talking 5 hours max) I decided to stick to my guns and keep Ollie home. Surprisingly Harry went willingly, think he felt guilty for the day before.

With Ollie being on the floppy spectrum I was able to feed him film after film whilst I got on with work.

Didn’t last. Come pick up time Ollie had an all mighty tantrum. He could not understand why I wouldn’t let him go to school in his dressing gown and slippers. I thought I was kind not making him change out of his pyjamas.

He wandered through the house crying “why? WHY?” Equivalent to any great Shakespearean actor! He cried all the way to school and whilst we were waiting in the car. I wasn’t sure at one point if I was actually banging my head repeatedly against the steering wheel or just dreaming it. Luckily I came to when Ollie uttered “reset?”

I love this! It’s what we do. If we’ve argued or been snippy and just want to start over again no questions ask we ask to reset, have a cuddle and forget it ever happened x

Ooh while I have you, let me just tell you about a few delicious things Harry has come out with,

Harry “ Daddy what is heaven?”

Lee “ it’s the place you go to when you die and you can then look over everyone”

Harry “ no Daddy, that’s spying”

Also I was trying to explain to Harry about what a carnival is (harder than it seems when put on the spot) and even went so far to say you throw money in the buckets for Charity. Well Harry didn’t like this idea at all and felt they should be throwing money at him and he’d be more inclined to go if that were the case!

Don’t you worry, he’ll see! Lee and I love the carnival and sure he will too!

Right, water getting cold and children suspiciously quiet!

Love and hugs xxx

Well that certainly sprouted a load of unanticipated questions!

Let me set the scene for you.

Monday 31st October was a glorious bonus inset day at the end of a wonderful half term spent doing delicious things with framily (friends who have become family).

The Twinkles had chosen to spend it in their pyjamas playing video games and watching YouTube under the blankets and dogs on our seven seater sofa.

I had Mum guilt for a while on treat days spent like this but when I look back my Mum had very high standards. She was always busy ironing, cooking, cleaning, but mainly ironing. I swear the carpet was slightly worn on the patch she used to stand on in the corner of our lounge ironing. I didn’t appreciate it when I was young, how could I? But I wish I could thank her now for all the hard work she put in that I only realise now as a Mum myself. Anyway, I wrestled with this for a while, but came to the conclusion that I will mainly buy clothes that don’t need ironing, the house will be trophy clean once the boys have left home and I will spend my free time really with them. The boys will be clean, hygienic, polite, happy, but possibly a bit crumpled.

Anyway, I love how close we feel snuggled on the sofa playing our separate games, but the boys always want to share what is happening in theirs or look up and say good job when I’ve passed levels we’ve struggled on.

I was aware Harry was watching something on YouTube called Haunted House, I watched for a while and it just seemed like teenagers playing pranks on each other and was actually making him laugh in places.

Ollie was watching his current favourite YouTuber Germy pretend to beat a doll with an axe because its head had turned by itself in a very non scary manner.

Alexa shouted out that it was 4pm and that was our cue to get dressed for Trick or Treating with the boys bestie, Josh.

Ollie wanted to be a friendly skeleton with a broom and Harry just wanted to look cool, but a bit dead.

We live in a cul de sac filled with bungalows, it’s almost the set of Cocoon. Mary from over the road who is about 103 actually came over to say she had been living in her place for over 15 years and never had a Trick or Treater ( not trickle treater as I first thought) and what did she need to do? We suggested a pumpkin in the porch, well she went to town with a gigantic spider, cobwebs, the works.

A lady down the road even lit her caravan with a red light and filled it with zombies. When the boys rang on her bell she jumped out and shouted boo, I nearly wet myself. She was so lovely and then Harry asked her why she was wearing her pyjamas, awkward.

That reminds me, we have a few thank you notes to send out.

The boys munched on their loot, Harry questioned the bag of Wotsits he’d been given. Ollie questioned why he couldn’t eat it all before bed.

Bedtime came and so did a very tearful Harry and all the questions.

• Are Spirits real?

• Can they take over your body?

• Can they get in to your body through your toes whilst you are sleeping?

• Are Vampires real?

Ollie chipped in with

• Do Vampires drink ketchup or blood?

It turns out things had been said in the videos Harry had watched.

Lee and I tackled it as best we could.

I reminded Harry that Nanny Jenny is a spirit who looks over us and visits us from heaven. I explained Spirits can’t touch you or control you and that Vampires aren’t real but if they were they can’t come in unless invited (thanks for the tip Lost Boys).

This resulted in more tears and Harry telling me that he was going to write a letter to Santa to request that Spirits could touch so I could give Nanny Jenny a hug when I die.

Seriously! Let’s go back to questions about zombies!!!

Needless to say I ended up being made to go to bed in their room at 8pm! Luckily my close friend Dancing Lou is a Scentsy consultant and she’d recommended we try “Jammy Time” wax melt in the boys room and it is a delicious concoction of soothing baby freesia, lavender and sweet pea which literally “helps kids drift into dreamland” and it doesn’t smell like horrible lavender which is a Brucie bonus!

Anywho, the alarm has gone. time to get out the bath and start the day xxxx

So I have a cushion, I have a few, it may be a problem, but I digress.

This particular cushion states that happiness is a journey not a destination.

Every now and then, me and my girls meet up at a hotel in Newbury. We share the family room and we fill it with food, drink and laughter. We make ourselves go to the bar for a round each, but it’s pretty much in our pyjamas by 8pm, stuffing our faces and having a good proper giggle about anything and everything. Lou and I actually spent part of the evening with After Eights stuck to our faces trying to edge them in to our mouths only using facial muscles and no hands, listen, no one said we were sat in the room applying to Mensa.

The next morning we like to share a hangover, strong coffee and the best yummy hotel breakfast! No one talk about the diet!! Shh, what diet? Precisely!

Anywho the drive home could not have been more therapeutic!

Having had a good nights sleep, happy tanks filled with the love you get from long standing friendships and heading home to the heart of my family.

I will admit being a sucker for Steve Wrights Sunday Love Songs on BBC Radio 2 and he did not disappoint. It was an emotional rollercoaster. He played Harry Nillson’s I Can’t Live. Not having a brush to hand I had to improvise with my fist as a microphone, belting it out between laughter and tears. Laughter at myself for being such a nincompoop and happy tears remembering my Mum doing the same stood in her kitchen in Orpington. I’m telling you the driver behind must have thought I was having some kind of episode or bipolar at the very least! I was sat in the cocoon of my own car and simply didn’t care.

He played Richard Marx Angelina and I surprised myself at knowing all the words. Shirley Bassey Goldfinger, not an easy one to sing along to!

I nearly stopped the car a few times to take a photo. The A roads were lined with trees of russet reds, vibrant orange, golds, it was like they were on fire with Autumn. The sun was shining down and there were a few candyfloss clouds.

That’s when I thought of my cushion.

I arrived home the better, happier, more mentally stable version of me and was rewarded with engulfing hugs!

Life is to be enjoyed x x x

I haven’t written for a while and I feel I should so here I am.

My bath is cold, so cold. Something funky is going on with the boiler and I don’t have the luxury of time to start over so I’m hoping that at some point the hot water will catch up with the cold water and every follicle in my being will cease to stand to attention. I wanted to say something about erect nipples but thought that might make some readers feel awkward hence the hair follicles. This isn’t going well is it?

I just feel like I’m stuck on a hamster wheel or conveyor belt. Brain fog, half the time I’m not really sure what is going on because I’m doing things on automatic and some activities just bleed in to others.

I’ve done the dog walk, need to get myself and the boys ready, then off to work where everything will be full speed, work through lunch to keep up and then off to collect the boys for swimming, McDonald’s tea and then off to try Muay Thai. We’ve tried karate, football, rugby, maybe this will be the one.

But the smile on my face isn’t plastered on, it’s real.

I didn’t enjoy being a mum of babies or toddlers. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the Twinkles dearly but it was a chore and a very lonely one. I do admit jealousy of people with close family members and childcare on tap, oh the luxury, but it has only brought Lee and I closer and he has more than made up for it.

Yesterday I felt a tingle in my tummy as I was finishing work. It wasn’t the latest fad diet, but true excitement at going to get my children. Now I enjoy them, I enjoy their company.

On Sunday, after a delicious family day filled with dog walks and Sunday lunch at the table, we treated ourselves to tea on the sofa, it is a 7 seater. The four of us snuggled up under some blankets, in front of the fire watching a family film and munching on some cheese on toast. Even the fur babies had jumped up eager for scraps. I say jumped up, but Tilly is getting more barrel shaped by the day so needs a helping hand and it isn’t always that dignified. She has been known to fart mid hoist. Just to be clear, Tilly is a 12 year old Westie Cross, it’s actually her birthday tomorrow, I best make her a liver cake. That physique isn’t going to keep itself up!

Anyway, I looked around the room and thought to myself, this is what it is all about. This is my happiness. This is where I want to be.

Harry asked me this week why he couldn’t giggle himself, the questions of a nearly 6 year old. Ollie just asked me why my tummy was so wobbly! Cheers dear x

The boys and I went to the beach the other day. They spent the entire time telling me about zombies. I never knew there were so many! Not my favourite topic but it did make me chuckle.

As we speak Harry is sat on the floor next to me in a den made of blankets. He’s trying to be patient, but he’s itching for me to get out the bath and get YouTube on for him. The chicken pox has completely gone, he’s not itching because of that!

Count down to half term where I can regenerate or respawn as the boys would say, they swear it isn’t scary!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

We’ve got the Pox. Not the small ones or the plague (although it feels like it) but the chicken variety. Why ever did they call it chicken pox? One second, I’m going to have to Google that! Nope, it seems Google isn’t sure either and if Google doesn’t know then I’m definitely not asking Alexa, we’re barely on speaking terms after she made me hard boil my soft boiled eggs, another lunchtime disaster!

I was actually relieved! Not about the eggs, about the pox! The boys have been right little sh1ts over the last few weeks, Ollie an emotional drama Queen and Harry an angry wretch, so phewee it was just down to the unfriendly bacteria and I should soon have my little angels back, I use the term “angels” loosely!

Luckily I am able to work from home when needs must. Lee is not which he smugly pointed out to me yesterday! I will however have to embed some house rules. Last time Harry couldn’t fathom I was on a phone call with someone the other end of my laptop and even though cautioned I was speaking to someone proceeded to ask me if I could wipe his bum when I’d finished as he’d just had a sticky poo! Fortunately this was met with guffaws of laughter.

It’s like a Katy Perry song! One minute we’re up then we’re down, we’re in then we’re out!

Dad collapsed last week and ended up in hospital, don’t worry folks, he’s on the mend now, but it’s like the Twinkles decided because of that they would push out some spots! Not getting enough attention?! Lee considered not telling me about whatever his ailment was last night when I shot him a look to say don’t even go there! I even flea treated the dogs so they’d have something to moan about and whilst I’m at I’m also covered in itchy spots which Lee has told me are not Shingles as he’s now a doctor because he consulted the oracle that is Google!

Goodness that feels better, and breathe!

So let’s end on some funnies from the boys. I’m just going to chuck them in there rather than trying to right prose because I’ve been up since 4am.

Harry asked why Dad hadn’t been over, I explained he’d had an evening to do with history (this was the truth, the emergency happened the next day, I do not think the two were related if you are wondering) so Harry asked me what is history. Tough one. I explained it is a real life story that happened in the past. To this he responded, oh so he was watching Disney Plus?

When I told Ollie I’d spoken to my manager about them having the pox and had been told I could work from home he asked me to call her back and also tell her about his foot which is a little sore. He then sat next to me and after some considerable thought said whilst actually stroking his little chin,

“ working from home? Hm, Mum, maybe you could count to 120, because they did that in number blocks and it was really hard, definitely working, I tried to copy it in school but stopped at 106 because that’s how many golden rings I collected when I was playing Sonic. Mum do you know where my Lego man with the star on his head is and please can I have broken poppadoms in my lunchbox”

This is a real life conversation with a five year old, nearly six I hasten to add and I love it.

Right, I’d best go, I’ve got one itching upstairs and one scratching downstairs and I’ve still got to get the children up. That was a joke! I need coffee!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So I met up with a lovely Mum a few weeks ago. Our children had been best friends at nursery, but with life and wotnot we’d not got round to meeting up since they’d left a year ago.

We finally sorted it out and met at Kiddsville only to find them closed with no notice, I sent them a stern email. So off to Jumping Jacks we went. I’d just like to point out that we did have our children with us, a mums date would definitely be at a place with alcohol!

So we got to chatting in between taking our children to the loo, feeding them, watering them, admiring their jumping skills, stopping them beating up the bigger boys etc

Anyway, I was talking to her about Harry’s “anger” and she suggested rugby, well I’d not thought of that, if I’m not allowed to beat him up maybe they could!! …..only joking!

She told me how well her elder son is doing and how he’s just been scouted to play for the Bears and how it’s guided him not to get involved with smoking, drink or drugs because he’s trained as an athlete! Winner winner chicken dinner I thought to myself.

We are very local to The Hornets who seem to be doing very well for themselves, go on lads! She very kindly found me an in and low and behold if the season wasn’t just starting up again.

Off we trundled last week to have a looksie of course I didn’t pack coats, a drink, umbrella and Harry was even in his jeans when we were told the boys could join in as it started to rain.

Harry was so brave getting stuck right in. I winced a bit as he turned to the coach and told him it was easy. Just after that the coach noticed a few of them with hands in their pockets and made them drop and give him 10 push ups, well I was very impressed with that.

Meanwhile Ollie was snuggled in to me whimpering that he couldn’t possibly join in because he was pretty sure he had a blister from his new school shoes.

The training was very structured and the children (mixed team) were told to stop and get a drink, oopsie, well we didn’t know they’d be joining in.

Hero Dad to the rescue, Lee ran home to get replenishments and rain breakers. He’d popped in a breakfast bar for Ollie which seemed to do the trick and off he went to join in, Ollie not Lee. He did however ask me to stand with him which I did and then he ran straight off so I was there like Gulliver on his travels with little people running all around me, not embarrassing at all!

Well Harry was a star and so was Ollie, just took a little longer to get in to gear.

I was so pleased and so proud to be part of the rugby community! I even text a few friends to let them know signing off as a rugby mum.

Well we’d joined the WhatsApp group, the Facebook page, practically bought the t-shirt, the uniform at least. There was talk of a tour in March and I was just about to book the accommodation when Lee suggested we let them go for a second time before committing, he’s so sensible.

Last night when we were tucking the boys in to bed Ollie said he couldn’t go to rugby on account of his ouchie ankle and leg and then Harry piped up that he couldn’t go in case someone wanted to punch him in the face. Okay.

I let them sleep on it and again this morning they were both adamant they didn’t want to go.

Part of me felt regret that they would be missing out on so much and then the other part decided there was no point fighting them both to do something they didn’t want to. They’re only 5, they have plenty of time to find things to excel at, no need to shove things down their throats now. I didn’t give up without a debate though and Ollie pointed out that they do do swimming and sports camp and have lots of friends and they’re happy, well you can’t really argue with that can you?

They are excelling at swimming and loving it so why spread them thin?

Off for a lovely family day today x especially as they will have enough energy for a good long dog walk!

Love and hugs, kisses & wishes! Xxx

Well it’s been an uppy downy kind of week, what do you expect with 6 people staying in a tin can during an English Summer?

Of course the highlight was getting to spend quality time with our friendlies, friends who have become family.

We filled every day with something delicious. Aquariums, crabbing, Superworm forest trails, theme parks, beach days, fish and chips, loads of ice creams and plenty of laughter, oh and group hugs of course.

I think the most remarkable day has to be when we went to Looe crabbing. I’ve been going there for years, but Lee still managed to find the jammiest car park, close to a perfect crabbing spot, shops, eateries, even a play park and most importantly a toilet.

We braved heading in to Looe briefly to grab a Cornish pack lunch. Ollie thought it was truly a holiday because he got to choose a croissant as his main course and even had had just an ice cream for lunch the day before. I tell you, the boy only runs on pure sugar, we have shares in toothpaste.

We found a lovely spot to eat said lunch, in fairness to Ollie I just had a chocolate brownie because that’s the only thing that was gluten free apart from water.

Grabbed all our crabbing stuff and set up camp along a slightly raised walk way with water either side. We used left over lunch as bait because I wouldn’t buy fish heads.

Within minutes “Cousin” Kiki had caught a crab, then another and another. Lexi was late to the party, but like a Pringle, once she popped she didn’t stop and her winning total was 24.

Harry and I were on a team together and I decided it was time to stop faffing around helping everyone else, but get in on the action with my little dude. We caught one and his little face lit up. Having had a feel of the win he hunkered down and started to take things a bit more seriously.

A lovely chap asked us if we wanted his left over bait, some chopped up bacon. It was a resounding yes please! Harry was so grateful he decided to get up and give the man a high 5. What happened next will always replay in slow motion in my mind and most likely result in an inopportune snigger.

So, Harry was sat near to the edge of the water, it was a narrow walkway with people needing to walk single file. He got to his feet, slowly manoeuvred round to give the chap a high five, stepped forward, caught his foot, lost his balance, fell forward only putting his whole arm in the crab bucket which had at least 10 in it. I was sitting next to him and tried to lift him up but Harry knocked the bucket of crabs over towards me! I stood Harry up and tried to jump up in a narrow space to avoid 20 pincers around my buttocks area and soaked dress. Ooh that reminds me, I need to put that dress in the wash!

Anyway, Harry lost his balance and landed in the drink. Kudos to him though he managed to stay upright so he was only up to his knees. The stranger holding on to one wrist and me on to the other we heaved him up next to us. The guy looked at us in disbelief! So I turned to him and said,

“ we really are very grateful for the bacon thank you!”

Lee was a few heads down the path, holding on to Ollie, watching the whole thing unravel whilst shaking his head. When I asked him if he saw what happened he replied, “I did tell you!” I’m not sure exactly what he was referring too but by then everyone was safe, I was over the shock and able to laugh hysterically!

Harry and I went on to catch quite a few crabs. I think our total was around 11, but they could well have been the ones we had caught and lost previously.

Right, we have a lovely weekend planned so I best get out this bath.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So you know the old lady that lived in a shoe? Not literally, figuratively. The one who swallowed a fly and ultimately ended up swallowing a cat? My goodness, childrens’ rhymes really were horror back in the day, no wonder children get night terrors! Who wants to open a pie and have 24 blackbirds fly out of it? I digress, long story short, I feel like her!

Let me explain, I’ll make it quick because I already think it could be boring. I have a bad knee. I now call it my menopausal knee after the consultant shenanigans. Still sounds younger than arthritis. I have to take strong pain killers, but they hurt my tummy so I have to take a tablet for that, but they cause severe water retention so I could take a tablet for that, but that might hurt my kidneys etc etc

Stop, no more, I’ve had enough! So I hit Google hard, consulted my medical friend and came up with a plan to beat the pill. Water. I didn’t say it was exceptional! Every hour I drink 500ml of water and take a walk, usually to the toilet. It’s okay because I have a beautiful metal two tone water bottle that reminds me of mermaids. What is not okay is that I felt the need to explain to my colleague who sits near the loo. Well I just thought it was starting to look a bit fishy because I can’t go to the toilet stealthily because it has a lock on it that hates me and foils me every time! Which usually ends in noisy calamity. Bless him, he didn’t need to know, he was just trying to get on with his work!

Right, that’s enough of that, let me tell you about Ollie who has come out with a few clangers recently.

He thought taste buds were called taste bugs which seemed really cute.

We were listening to Harry’s new favourite musical artist Alan Walker when Ollie piped up with this,

“ I think Alan Walker is called Alan Walker because he really likes walking his dogs.”

Me “and why is he called Alan?”

Ollie “ because he likes licking lollies”

Oh okay.

We were also watching a childrens movie, an actual PG, which mentioned serial killers. Why??? But that led to,

Ollie “ Mummy what are serial killers?”

Me “ they are people who kill more than one person dear”

Well there was no way of side stepping the question so I just went straight through it!

Ollie “ oh, I thought they were people who loved cereals, like me”

Now why didn’t I think of that answer??? But then I couldn’t have Ollie walking around holiday camp telling everyone he was a serial killer.

It’s 6:13, time to wake the children and start their day.

Eyes on the prize, just got to make it until Friday and then TWO WEEKS OFF!! Woohoo!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx