Spider xxx

So you know the old lady that lived in a shoe? Not literally, figuratively. The one who swallowed a fly and ultimately ended up swallowing a cat? My goodness, childrens’ rhymes really were horror back in the day, no wonder children get night terrors! Who wants to open a pie and have 24 blackbirds fly out of it? I digress, long story short, I feel like her!

Let me explain, I’ll make it quick because I already think it could be boring. I have a bad knee. I now call it my menopausal knee after the consultant shenanigans. Still sounds younger than arthritis. I have to take strong pain killers, but they hurt my tummy so I have to take a tablet for that, but they cause severe water retention so I could take a tablet for that, but that might hurt my kidneys etc etc

Stop, no more, I’ve had enough! So I hit Google hard, consulted my medical friend and came up with a plan to beat the pill. Water. I didn’t say it was exceptional! Every hour I drink 500ml of water and take a walk, usually to the toilet. It’s okay because I have a beautiful metal two tone water bottle that reminds me of mermaids. What is not okay is that I felt the need to explain to my colleague who sits near the loo. Well I just thought it was starting to look a bit fishy because I can’t go to the toilet stealthily because it has a lock on it that hates me and foils me every time! Which usually ends in noisy calamity. Bless him, he didn’t need to know, he was just trying to get on with his work!

Right, that’s enough of that, let me tell you about Ollie who has come out with a few clangers recently.

He thought taste buds were called taste bugs which seemed really cute.

We were listening to Harry’s new favourite musical artist Alan Walker when Ollie piped up with this,

“ I think Alan Walker is called Alan Walker because he really likes walking his dogs.”

Me “and why is he called Alan?”

Ollie “ because he likes licking lollies”

Oh okay.

We were also watching a childrens movie, an actual PG, which mentioned serial killers. Why??? But that led to,

Ollie “ Mummy what are serial killers?”

Me “ they are people who kill more than one person dear”

Well there was no way of side stepping the question so I just went straight through it!

Ollie “ oh, I thought they were people who loved cereals, like me”

Now why didn’t I think of that answer??? But then I couldn’t have Ollie walking around holiday camp telling everyone he was a serial killer.

It’s 6:13, time to wake the children and start their day.

Eyes on the prize, just got to make it until Friday and then TWO WEEKS OFF!! Woohoo!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx