So you may recall me mentioning my dodgy knee, you may not, I wouldn’t blame you, it’s not that important or interesting in the grand scheme of things. Well let me get you up to speed, it hurts and it’s doing a rubbish job at being a knee! There we go, all up to date.

So, I decided to go to the doctors. When I say “go to the doctors” I mean fill in an app request and get an automated message to let me know they’ll get to me when they can and in order of inportance. Whilst completing the form I realised it’s been giving me jip for nearly a year which reassured me I wasn’t making a fuss! How British!

The doctor saw me and referred me to the musculoskeletal team and regretfully added there was at least a 3 month waiting list. Oh well, at least my name was in the hat.

So my letter arrived in the post with a number to call to book my appointment. I must admit to feeling quite excited, well it was the build up! If they’re no good at fixing my knee they might look to a successful career in sales!

The day arrived and I hobbled in to Clevedon Hospital feeling old and decrepit, well body parts not functioning properly dents a persons ego somewhat.

I checked in and found myself a place in the waiting room.

“Flay” someone barked. To the others in the waiting room I understand that could have sounded intimidating, to me it was my surname shouted out in a preppy school boy way.

The consultant was tall and handsome, well what I could see behind the paper mask. He was so enthusiastic you could still practically smell fresh exam papers on him.

We sat and chatted and he was very thorough. We spoke about the fact I couldn’t walk properly, I was needing to take pain killers every 2 hours and I hadn’t had a good night sleep since 2015, but that’s by the by.

I told him I was actually 25, he checked my notes.

So to sum up, he said, I practically did a drum roll …

“Now, people say they have a pain in their knee and other consultants just go ahead and treat them for a pain in the knee, but I like a more holistic approach”

Did you ever watch Do You Want to Be a Millionaire? It sort of reminded me of that! When Chris Tarrant waved a cheque for £10,000 at the contestant and said “but I don’t want to give you that!”.

Back to the consultant.

“You undeniably have severe pain in your knee and limited movement, possible Osteoporosis, but I’m not going to just treat you for that! No, it could be Menopause, or, or, or Cancer!”

Me “WHAT?!”

Well that’s what I thought but I actually said something along the lines of him being the professional and doing what he thought was best.

He’s sending me for an X-ray and gave me a list of things to ask my doctor.

So I filled in another AskmyGP app request and got another automated message saying they’d get to me if it was important which quite frankly I think both Menopause and Cancer are.

The next day, in work, I got a phone call from the doctor. She seemed perplexed and said it was easier just to call. We agreed I was not menopausal so there was no point doing those blood tests and that I would keep on checking my lumpy boobs for any change and we both wondered how my breasts could be linked to my knee pain. I laughed and it came out quite shrill as I said, well I went in there with knee pain and came out worrying I had menopause and cancer, she did not find this funny, in fact it went quite quiet and then she said goodbye and hung up, but I did finally get some decent drugs out of it. By that I mean prescription for my pain not to feed a habit.

Well there you have it. Ooh and in other news, the Twinkles are chuffed to bits they both need to wear glasses and can’t wait to go and collect them today. They are so big and clumpy they were free but the boys love them, I couldn’t even get them to try on the Batman ones. Can you guess what else they are after? Braces?!! What’s going on with children of today?

Right, I best get on.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

Yesterday was pretty much perfect! It started with 7 hours and 55 minutes sleep! I didn’t know myself! I had the energy of Jim Carey in The Mask!

The Twinkles and I sneaked downstairs in our Jimjams and grabbed the dogs on the way. Yes, that’s right, currently the state of play seems to be that Lee sleeps with the dogs and I sleep with the children. Not sure who gets the better end of the deal, but maybe by the time we retire we’ll actually get to share the same bed! Not during a heatwave though, I’m loving starfishing my bed!

We had a delicious breakfast of watermelon, blueberries, strawberries, grapes and banana bread (when I tell you everything was perfect I mean it!) and snuggled up to a film we hadn’t seen before, Sea Monster! It’s brilliant! Of course I cried at the lovely bits and Harry actually got up to get me a tissue! Maybe he was being sweet, maybe he wanted to make the point I was blubbing too loudly!

By the time it had finished Lee was up and about so we shoved him in the bath so he could start his day nicely too.

It was nearly time for lunch by the time I’d finished my bath, we were doing leisurely with a capital L.

We had cooling, crispy salads together sat round the kitchen table. I’d suggested we take the dogs for a walk in the woods, but got outnumbered. I’d seen a post on Facebook about taking dogs for a walk in fur coats and bare feet during a heatwave and seeing how we liked it and felt the walk could be missed. Anyone confused by the above it’s the human who wears the fur coat!

So we settled for some paddling pool and hot tub time. The boys stayed in the pool for about 5 minutes and then decided to join us in the hot tub, Lee ended up getting kicked out but got a pool all to himself. Again, not sure who got the better end of the deal.

The heat had climaxed by then so we retreated to the lounge which is always lovely and cool. We all got treated to a bit of computer time. It’s odd how together it feels when we’re all doing separate things on our devices.

For dinner I made Fajitas. The boys love the freedom of making their own from all the ingredients thrown together in the middle of the table. Ollies first was just a tortilla filled with crunched up tortilla chips and some cheese, but hey he was eating! Ollie would drink his meals if he could and so would I, but that’s something completely different!

I was clearing up after tea and the boys kept calling me to come to the garden. Different silly reasons and lots of giggling. So I armed myself with a water gun I keep stashed in the conservatory. Out I came to the O.K Corral with water guns blazing! It was carnage which ended with all four of us sat in the pool, fully clothed and laughing.

I am so very grateful for my family, may days like these never end!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

Well it’s been an emotional rollercoaster of a week, everything feels that way when you’re sleep deprived. I’ve averaged 3.5 hours of sleep a night so my Fitbit tells me.

What are normal, everyday occurrences seem like monumental feats when you’re depleted on the zzzz.

Take the other morning for example, got up with the dogs at 5am, I do not moan about this at the moment because the walk is in dappled sunshine, peppered with pleasant floral smells (sounds like I’m talking about wine, any minute I’ll be mentioning Hollyhocks like that Gilly woman always used to) and I like watching the daisies wake up and drink in the sunshine.

Tilly has a favourite poo spot, who am I to question her OCD, I find it pleasantly reassuring. Tilly is a dog.

Even though we are amid a heatwave I still wear my wax coat with a hood as it is my dog walking coat, has deep pockets and nicely covers my pyjamas! Although on this occasion it let me down as what I thought was a bunch of poo bags turned out to be one bag scrunched up with a glove!

I will not let this hold me back I thought to myself and you could even read that in a tone worthy of a knight on a crusade.

Instead of bagging Tilly’s offering and disposing of it in the bin she likes to poo next to (could she be more awesome?) I decided to keep my one bag in hand for Hollys gift.

I was pleased as punch when I’d flicked Holly’s wares in to the bag and knotted the top of the bag only to spot Tilly doing her Tilly Two poo trick! Anyway I managed to undo the knot and bag the offending article but who knew bagging poo could be such an exciting start to one’s morning? So much so that I felt the need to write about it and share! Told you I was tired!

Poor little Harry has had an ear infection for most of this week, but still managed to make me chuckle! For some unknown reason we were talking about those fish that used to eat the dead skin off your feet, remember those? I was trying to explain to Harry why they’re not around anymore to which he responded

“Is it because they all got Covid?”

Which for some unknown reason really tickled me.

I was explaining to him about something else and he nodded his head, placed his hand on my arm and said , good word Mummy, well done! I felt like I’d been given an A by the teacher!

The boys graduated reception this week which was wonderful and I was a crying mess at that! I also cried when my hot tub broke, but Lee encouraged me to get a lovely new one which wasn’t supposed to arrive until Monday evening but I’ve had a notification to say it’s on its way today! 8 stops away to be precise! I’m going to hug the bejesus out of that Amazon delivery driver! Unless Lee gets there first.

To clarify, Lee won’t be hugging any delivery drivers but he’ll probably help them to save themselves and get away!

Ollie has been the happy sunbeam whom has sung us all through this week!

Life is good! The sun is shining, I managed a full 6 hours sleep last night and we’re off to a children’s party today where I’m being allowed to do face painting!!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes x make the most of every day, you never know how long you’ve got xxx

So there’s a strong possibility I had too much fun Saturday night or maybe just too much Pimms. Either or I had a restless night sleep, I’ll put it down to the sugar in the fruit, I like to make my Pimms like a veritable fruit salad.

Anyway, it was early Sunday morning and I was sleeping in with the boys and in that beautiful, deep slumber when I was aware of Harry stirring. He tiptoed over to me and tapped me on the shoulder,

“Mum, I have a question for you”

Me, “ Harry it’s really early and we should still be asleep”

Harry “ but I have a question for you muuuuum”

Me “okay”

Harry “ if you could be any animal what would it be”

Me “are you kidding me?”

Harry “ no”

Me “ right get your blanket and pillow and come in here with me and we’ll continue this convo snuggled up”

Moments later,

Harry “ mum have you gone back to sleep?”

Me “the chance would be a fine thing”

Harry, “ so what animal would you like to be?”

Me “ dolphin”

(At least he’s still young enough to not get in to the technicalities of animals and mammals at 05:45 on a Sunday.

Harry “ I’d be a dog so I could do stinky farts”

Me “ you already do stinky farts”

Harry “ I know, that’s why I’d make a good dog!”

Later on Harry informed me he had ants in his feet. I tried to explain to him about pins and needles and he said it was definitely just ants.

Harry also felt the need to show me a freckle on his bottom. I was tired and called it a mole. He questioned why it was itchy and I said because he’d been scratching it. He then thought about it for a while and asked me if it was possible he’d been bitten on the bottom by a mole.

Ollie has also been on form this weekend. He isn’t keen on going to bed at the moment and tells us he is scared.

Me “what have you got to be scared about? You’ve got a lovely bedroom all lit up with projector stars and rockets. We have a lovely home in a friendly community. You even get given presents by random strangers”

Ollie “ we haven’t been given presents”

Me “ yes you have, there was that man who dropped off all the action man stuff and the man down the woods that gave you all those wrestlers”

(Sounds dodgy / sinister, but it really wasn’t)

Ollie “ they weren’t presents! They weren’t wrapped up with a bow on top!”

They do make me chuckle x

Here’s to a happy Monday, fresh canvas, new week x x

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxxx

Okay, I have a confession, I lost Harry, but only for about 10 minutes and whilst he can push my buttons it wasn’t intentional.

The boys have been poorly, again! This virus really attacked them though and it’s been around for a good week. Fever, chills, loss of appetite, sore throat, all over body itchy rash, nausea, extreme fatigue, the works!

The Twinkles have been in and out of school, but I’ve finally admitted defeat and kept them home for a few days to really restore them back to good health.

Struck with a case of cabin fever yesterday I decided to take them to the woods for a bit of exercise and fresh air. Oh and also because the day before within the 10 minutes they did feel well and have energy Harry managed to push Ollie face first into the lounge door resulting in a bump the size of an egg on his forehead. Luckily I’m first aid trained, I think it should be a prerequisite for all parents! So I laid him down with a cold compress and gave him a dose of Calpol! He was up dancing in no time bothering Harry who had gone back under with a fever! I didn’t actually say out loud are you kidding me, but I sure thought it and may have slightly expressed it with my eyes!

So, we were down the woods and for a jolly game I allowed Harry to take the left fork and Ollie and I took the right. If I’m being really honest I thought we were at a fork further on which results in a quicker entry to the main path.

One minute we could see Harry, the next we couldn’t. It soon became apparent he wasn’t going to be meeting us at the rendezvous, there was also the possibility we hadn’t discussed a rendezvous, hey, give me a break, I’ve had minimal sleep with all this illness going on and surviving on fumes and caffeine which I would take intravenously if possible, heck through my eyeballs at this stage!

So we started calling for Harry and instincts (always trust those) told me to walk back down the main path. Then I started to whistle. Not a jaunty little tune, but a blaring siren of a fingers in the mouth blast. We walked past an elderly couple and the chap decided to tell me I had a very manly whistle so I informed him it was the whistle of a mother with a missing child!

Shelly Wilcox taught me to whistle on a Fifth Form trip to the Opera. My mum was a few seats behind and I’m thinking it wasn’t her proudest moment! But I tell you that whistle has got me out of a fair few scrapes and something I’ve already started trying to teach the boys! It has only got me in to trouble once and that was a misjudgement on my part. I was at the airport, just returning from somewhere and it was very early in the morning. We were just going through security and the chap in front of me left his bag behind and carried on walking. The guard couldn’t get his attention so I gave him a whistle. Okay, whistles and airports don’t mix, people get jumpy, my bad!

So, we whistled and called and then started hearing other voices in the woods. A lady called out to say he was that way because she could hear him, once I could hear what he was saying I made out that he was making his way back to the car. We soon caught up to him! His first words

“Let’s not do that ever again Mummy”

A dog walker came towards us to say what a bright boy he is! I’ve got to say I’m very proud too! It’s one of the reasons our car is covered in bright flowers and rainbow butterflies so it stands out for them. That and I keep bumping it on stuff!

So how come we’re allowed to chip our dogs but we can’t chip our children? They could get it removed once they turn 16 or something? I bet in years to come parents will be telling their children that it was only their pets that used to get security tagged!

So we’re going to settle with a watch with a gps system and not splitting up.

Lee didn’t feel the need to tell me off, he could see I’d already been traumatised and he tried to tell me in the morning he had a sore throat and I’d pretty much told him to do one because all my sympathy had already been used up.

Right, well I best get back to the Twinkles.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes.

I didn’t feel like writing today to be honest, but I wrote this in tribute to an extraordinary man, my Uncle Dick who lived to 100 and received his letter from the queen. He was a real life hero, a family man and a gentleman and when he gave me the thumbs up for Lee, I knew he was the right one for me.

His memory will live on and if either of our boys are half the man he was I’ll be even prouder than I am already xxx

So I heard the neighbour sniggering at me over the fence, again. To be fair, they had a point.

What with moving to the area during a pesky pandemic, we haven’t had much of a chance to build up the neighbourly over the fence rapport, we don’t own hazmat suits.

I heard the laughter, then checked what I’d just said over in my head and it turns out I’d told our 2 year old mini Snauzer that she’d just gone and lost her garden privileges for excessive barking and being a hooligan.

Another time I was hanging out the washing and shouting to my dear child (why do they feel the need to have a conversation with me from another room? And why do I let them?) “if I were Batman’s dog I would not want to eat eyeballs, not even sweet ones!” How random is that?

Or,

“Ollie is you don’t stop bloomin’ moaning (he’s really trying out his emo side and I’m hoping he decides it isn’t a fit!) I will ban you from playing Roblox until you are 76! What was that? Yes by then I would probably be too old to tell you to start playing again so it would be a ban for life! Your life! Your life and my life! What did you say? Yes I would know you were playing! Because I’m a mum and we know things! Pardon? Say that again? Yes I would know even if you were invisible! …… no, Kindle do not make an invisible option yet!”

Or,

“ALEXA! I TOLD YOU TO STOP THE ALARM SEVEN TIMES ALREADY! ALEXA YOU ARE RUBBISH!

Turns out if you say this to Alexa she says she is sorry you feel this way in really rather a patronising way! We much prefer telling Alexa we love her because she sings a little song about it!

So I thought the neighbour must think I was awful until one day she stopped me to tell me I was doing a really good job! How nice is that? I said we should get together for a Prosecco and she said she didn’t drink, the friendship didn’t stand a chance!

I’m sure I’ll have the luxury of saying I don’t drink once the boys leave home! Who am I kidding? Then I’ll be missing them and worrying if they’re okay!

Anyway, the sun is shining and Grandad is over this evening, I think it’s an ice cream on the beach kind of day! Got to appreciate the little things, it’s what keeps us going xxx

Have you ever had one of those excruciating mornings when the world seems to be conspiring against you?

I had one, Wednesday I think it was, not that that’s important or even relevant.

I was tired, so tired! Don’t all these stories tend to start like that?

I felt discombobulated and like I was walking through treacle.

I found the tv controller in the fridge and the milk in the lounge. Even though I’d be constantly making the lunchboxes I still hadn’t finished them when the final warning alarm went off ( we have 6 starting from 5 in the morning, it’s great! …..it really isn’t)

Somehow, with the help of my husband, it all came together for the final alarm which screams it’s time to leave the house. It doesn’t, it’s actually the theme tune to Strictly Come Dancing, but we all know what it means. Well, I figure if you need a chivvy up it’s easier to do it to something jolly that makes you happy.

Ollie wasn’t feeling well. He was a pile of bogies and mucus and letting everyone know about it. He was well enough to go to school though, obviously he didn’t think that.

So I decided a good old dose of Calpol should help him get on his merry way, but I’d literally just given him a Percy Pig. What? We sometimes use sweets to bribe our children in the morning! Don’t tell me you haven’t! AND Percy Pigs contain real fruit juice so they’re practically one of their 5 a day, says so on the packet! About the juice, not the 5 a day.

So there I was standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding a Calpol filled, plastic syringe close to Ollies lips waiting for him to finish chewing his fruit, I mean, sweet. Strictly Come Dancing started to play again having already been snoozed, Lee was already getting Harry in the car and my other arm was laden with bags for the day but I still managed to do a come on motion with it.

He chewed and he chewed and then he chewed some more but it just didn’t seem to be disappearing.

Then I got the giggles. It was just so funny. Poor little blighter. It was a laugh or cry anxiety moment and I nearly always manage to opt for laughter!

I managed to drop the boys off to breakfast club only a little bit late.

I got to the car park and was just getting out when I realised I’d forgotten my security pass and had to drive home to get it. I had to pay for the privilege.

Even though I’d been home I still managed to get to my desk missing an earring I’d forgotten to put in and with some kind of chocolatey stain on my front, probably from hugging Harry goodbye. Why would he opt to use a wet wipe when he can wipe his Coco Pops mouth on my clothing?

In other news, I just read an awesome life hack! (Couldn’t remember the word for syringe!) So it turns out those plastic gizmos in the top of a Calpol bottle fit in to other medicine bottles making it easier to dispense! Totes going to try that out when I get out the bath!

Anyways, love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So I needed a wee. I’d needed one for a while, but it had been a busy old day learning in my new role.

I had a few bits and bobs to tidy up before I needed to leave and then realised I should have already gone, cripes!

I packed myself up like a school child with P.E and Reading on the same day, even contemplated hanging a bag around my neck as my arms were full, but decided that was a step too far and tried to rush out the door.

Shaza, one of the friendly security guards had to sort of give me a push as I got myself wedged and for some unknown reason I told her I needed a wee.

Bags in car, off I drove, sensibly, more haste less speed, got there in time, parked up and walked up the hill to the school. Luckily I didn’t bump into anyone I knew so didn’t have to try and hold a conversation whilst pretending I wasn’t devastatingly out of breath from the climb!

Wandered up to some of my Mum pose waiting for our cool kids and told them not to give me a hug as I might wet myself and trickle on their foot. Not the best conversation starter.

There’s always a bit of calm before the children are let out and then it’s all go! Bags are thrust at me, snacks demanded, goodbyes are shouted then everyone’s running down that massive hill continuing to shout good byes, then in the car, manoeuvre around crazy drivers, everyone’s in a rush, boys are arguing and then we’re home.

On this day the plumber was stood there waiting to come in.

Get the plumber through the door whilst carrying all their bags. Try and hold a conversation with the plumber over the dogs barking and trying to tell the twins not to let the dogs out.

The plumber doesn’t drink hot drinks on hot days.

Let the dogs out the back, (predictive text changed back to bag that would have started a commotion!) set the boys up with the TV and more Scooby snacks.

Take a cold glass of water up to the plumber, come back down the stairs only to trip on one of Ollies shoes which he has left there and literally fall kersplat on my front, completely on my front laying down in the hall way with the plumber upstairs!

Bless little Harry who heard the kerfuffle and came out to ask if I was okay.

I lifted my head up off the floor to tell him I just really needed a wee.

It was quite heart warming the amount of people who asked after my bladder the next day x

Sometimes it’s hard to write! I have to be in the right mood, don’t want to be all doom and gloom, you can watch the news for that or Eastenders!

However, I realise it has been quite a while since my last little update and don’t want to get out of the habit, oh my gosh, I’m even boring myself at this stage! Fun fact, did you know you only have to repeat things 7 times for it to become a habit? Wait, let me just check that with Google, back in a tick. Oopsie Daisy, make that 66 times, numbers hate me. Certainly explains why the diet hasn’t been sticking!

So, the other morning on the way to Breakfast Club I decided to have a heart to heart with the Twinkles. I’d been extra grumpy the night before and felt very guilty for having raised my voice.

“Guys, I’m sorry for being grumpy last night. There’s a lot going on at the moment, I’d had a really long hard day and was in a lot of pain with my knee (crikey that makes me sound so old, next thing you know I’ll be talking about my lumbago!) I just wanted to come home and enjoy some quality time with you, not listen to you continuously arguing or telling tales on each other (literally, when they were in the bath, every time I lay on my bed to relax they called me in to snitch on each other for silly things like having their willy in the bath? It’s attached to you!!! Every time though, it was like they were watching me on camera and waiting for me to just get in to a comfortable position and then BAM!) Guys, I love you, but when you get like that sometimes it just makes me want to cry!”

Silence.

Then raucous, uncontrollable laughter from the back seat from both of them!

Ollie giggling “what it makes you want to cry like a little baby?”

Me “ yes, like a little baby”

Harry getting in on the action “ what it makes you want to cry and scream like a little baby that’s pooped themselves?”

Me “yes”

Harry “wait, had you pooped yourself?”

Well it certainly lightened the mood and we had a team cuddle before they went in to Breakfast club.

Should probably apologise to the husband! Again long, hard day, pain, fatigue and he dared to suggest to me when he got home that my new decorative lights bought for the olive trees (drunk on Amazon, it’s a lottery what will turn up!) should go inside the branches so they don’t get cut when trimming. Well obviously I walked off in a huff because he was suggesting I was stupid!

The boys had their first swimming class last night! I was so proud I had a little cry! I’m not saying they were well behaved, but they are definitely good swimmers. So much so the teacher came over after to ask if they’d had lessons before and to say they were naturals and he thought they’d progress on to the next level very quickly. I was sure to tell him that he was a lovely teacher, kind, calm and patient with them and brought out the best. I hope he’s been told that before, it’s sometimes easy to forget to recognise when people in your life are doing a good job and making a difference.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So the twins have now arrived at the heady age of five and a half and have discovered willies. They know they have them, they are starting to understand that girls don’t have them although I overheard them discussing the other day the girls in their class they thought might have willies.

It’s all still completely innocent and child like, but a thing of wonderment to them.

I was trying to teach them to dry themselves properly and I don’t know why, but I told them if they didn’t dry the bit between their willy and their bottom, they might start growing mushrooms down there. They can pick this up with a shrink at a later date.

Well it started a whole conversation and I told them that Grandad likes to use a hairdryer to dry himself, very practical, apart from the increasing fuel prices.

So Grandad was over on Wednesday as per usual. We’d had a lovely evening of watching Riverdance and eating left over Easter chocolate (there is a lot! Think we’ll be making chocolate nests at the weekend!). The boys had their bath and been read to and went down stairs to give Grandad a kiss and cuddle goodnight and boy did they come back giggling!

Ollie couldn’t speak from laughing so hard and was clutching at his sides so I had this conversation with Harry,

“ Mum, Ollie asked Grandad if he drys his willy with a hairdryer and he said yes” guffaws of laughter.

Me “ right?”

Harry after some thought “ does he use your hairdryer to dry his willy?”

Me “ no, he has his own”

Trying to change the subject before poor Ollie exploded “ Grandad actually used to make hairdryers, he had a whole business doing exactly that.”

Harry in amazement “ Grandad had a business to make hairdryers so he could dry his willy???!!!!!”

Well we all started laughing then! Grandad didn’t need the baby monitor to hear us two floors down!

As Lee was leaving for work yesterday morning I was stood in the hallway just thinking how incredibly handsome he is. The sun was streaming in through the windows and the boys has gathered to give him a goodbye cuddle, they were all telling each other how much they loved each other, it was like something off The Waltons!

Ollie ran in to the lounge to wave Lee off from the window and Harry, who was fiddling with something in his hand, sauntered in behind him and casually called over his shoulder

“Bye Dad, love you, Mum loves your willy!”

WHAT?

Lee and I just looked at each other, a bit lost for words and unsure how to react to the situation.

Me “ well it is rather nice”

With that Lee shrugged, smiled and left for work.

It’s always good to know you’re appreciated!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx