Just write xxx

I haven’t written for a while and I feel I should so here I am.

My bath is cold, so cold. Something funky is going on with the boiler and I don’t have the luxury of time to start over so I’m hoping that at some point the hot water will catch up with the cold water and every follicle in my being will cease to stand to attention. I wanted to say something about erect nipples but thought that might make some readers feel awkward hence the hair follicles. This isn’t going well is it?

I just feel like I’m stuck on a hamster wheel or conveyor belt. Brain fog, half the time I’m not really sure what is going on because I’m doing things on automatic and some activities just bleed in to others.

I’ve done the dog walk, need to get myself and the boys ready, then off to work where everything will be full speed, work through lunch to keep up and then off to collect the boys for swimming, McDonald’s tea and then off to try Muay Thai. We’ve tried karate, football, rugby, maybe this will be the one.

But the smile on my face isn’t plastered on, it’s real.

I didn’t enjoy being a mum of babies or toddlers. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the Twinkles dearly but it was a chore and a very lonely one. I do admit jealousy of people with close family members and childcare on tap, oh the luxury, but it has only brought Lee and I closer and he has more than made up for it.

Yesterday I felt a tingle in my tummy as I was finishing work. It wasn’t the latest fad diet, but true excitement at going to get my children. Now I enjoy them, I enjoy their company.

On Sunday, after a delicious family day filled with dog walks and Sunday lunch at the table, we treated ourselves to tea on the sofa, it is a 7 seater. The four of us snuggled up under some blankets, in front of the fire watching a family film and munching on some cheese on toast. Even the fur babies had jumped up eager for scraps. I say jumped up, but Tilly is getting more barrel shaped by the day so needs a helping hand and it isn’t always that dignified. She has been known to fart mid hoist. Just to be clear, Tilly is a 12 year old Westie Cross, it’s actually her birthday tomorrow, I best make her a liver cake. That physique isn’t going to keep itself up!

Anyway, I looked around the room and thought to myself, this is what it is all about. This is my happiness. This is where I want to be.

Harry asked me this week why he couldn’t giggle himself, the questions of a nearly 6 year old. Ollie just asked me why my tummy was so wobbly! Cheers dear x

The boys and I went to the beach the other day. They spent the entire time telling me about zombies. I never knew there were so many! Not my favourite topic but it did make me chuckle.

As we speak Harry is sat on the floor next to me in a den made of blankets. He’s trying to be patient, but he’s itching for me to get out the bath and get YouTube on for him. The chicken pox has completely gone, he’s not itching because of that!

Count down to half term where I can regenerate or respawn as the boys would say, they swear it isn’t scary!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx