The Fuzz xxx

One minute you’re happily driving along in a quest to find Pudsey ears, the next you are being read your rights.

I say happily driving, well as happy as you can be after a long hard day at work, fumes of sleep and two hangry 5 year olds in the back. There’s a possibility I was hangry too. That’s what I contribute the most shameful part of my story to.

I saw the blue lights flashing in my rear view mirror early on. I pulled over as did the car in front, however the car behind had not noticed and proceeded to over take me. Well I was in a honking my horn kind of mood and I gave it one of those long lasting blasts, the sort of gloating ones, only to have the police officer pull up and ask me to pull over. I actually said “what me?” Incredulously.

Harry later told Daddy that I’d been pulled over for beeping at someone angrily, oh the shame. What will they be telling their friends at school? Or their teacher? Harry took great pleasure in telling Mrs Pedler I’d killed a tic with daddy’s slipper and blood had splattered everywhere. I suppose that’s why I’m trying to get in there first.

The policeman asked me if I had any insurance. Well of course I have! It would be ridiculous not to, especially as I’m still waiting the outcome of a driver who drove in to the back of me at a red light over a year ago!

So who is it with? Blimey now you’re asking! Let’s just have a scroll through my emails and or direct debits because it’s £22 a month (good I know!)

Well neither of those came forth and I couldn’t for the life of me remember who I was with, I could remember who I was with before because they were rubbish, hence the lingering court case.

Well that’s when I started to get that anxious feeling like when you’re at the front of the queue waiting to pay with lots of tutting people behind you and you can’t get the last coin out or remember your pin or use the right card.

The policeman described me as flummoxed. Good word.

In the end I admitted defeat, only after telling the officer that if I really didn’t have insurance my husband would kill me, he’s a stickler for the rules.

I did question it a few times mind. How had I managed to get Road tax? I pay by direct debit! Insurance companies always auto renew they don’t just stop. His answer was always that he was just stating the facts.

I apologised several times and said I wasn’t meaning to be argumentative BUT, to which he stated several times that he was not perceiving me to be so. At this point he went and got his coat, I think he could see we were in for the long haul.

What made matters worse was that we were parked on the main road in and out of Weston at rush hour! Buses struggled past and Harry asked why everyone was staring and some even laughing .

Basically he gave me two choices. Either buy insurance then and there so I could drive away or he would have to seize the car, well that was a no brainer. I let him have the car! I wanted to get a decent deal on my insurance! Only joking.

Bless him though. He was very conscious I had Harry and Ollie in the car and chatted away to them. Luckily Harry told him he wanted to be a policeman, Ollie just went with YouTuber!

Oh how I struggled! I couldn’t get my phone to work. Everytime I thought I’d got somewhere I was told I needed to call. Then face recognition wouldn’t work with my glasses. Then the insurance came out at £233 A MONTH! So he let me try a comparison site. He really was jolly nice.

Once I’d shown him I was now lawful he had to cover the part about me driving around willy nilly uninsured! Oh and the fact my car is still registered to the old address. I didn’t correct him on the pronunciation although tempted.

Whilst the officer was pooping back to his car I had to reassure Ollie that we weren’t all going to prison.

The policeman had to read me my rights! At that point I lost it! I actually covered my mouth in shock, wide eyed and burst out crying, telling him I’d never even had a detention at school! It’s true, I hadn’t.

He apologised and soon it was over.

I drove away as carefully as possibly, being sure to mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

I drove to the roundabout to turn round and come home, the Pudsey quest was over.

The kind policeman decided to follow me home to make sure we got there safely.

Harry actually shouted at me I was going too fast, I replied I was driving at 22 miles an hour.

I got home and Lee took over everything, my hero, getting the boys fed, bathed, to bed until I came out of my shock drinking Rose Prosecco in front of the fire. Thank you Grandad for leaving that second bottle!

Lee did however close the evening by getting Alexa to sing “I fought the Law” by The Clash!

So let this be a warning to you my dear friends, especially the ones with brain fog, please check your insurance is up to date and your car is registered to the right address.