Knee xxx

So you may recall me mentioning my dodgy knee, you may not, I wouldn’t blame you, it’s not that important or interesting in the grand scheme of things. Well let me get you up to speed, it hurts and it’s doing a rubbish job at being a knee! There we go, all up to date.

So, I decided to go to the doctors. When I say “go to the doctors” I mean fill in an app request and get an automated message to let me know they’ll get to me when they can and in order of inportance. Whilst completing the form I realised it’s been giving me jip for nearly a year which reassured me I wasn’t making a fuss! How British!

The doctor saw me and referred me to the musculoskeletal team and regretfully added there was at least a 3 month waiting list. Oh well, at least my name was in the hat.

So my letter arrived in the post with a number to call to book my appointment. I must admit to feeling quite excited, well it was the build up! If they’re no good at fixing my knee they might look to a successful career in sales!

The day arrived and I hobbled in to Clevedon Hospital feeling old and decrepit, well body parts not functioning properly dents a persons ego somewhat.

I checked in and found myself a place in the waiting room.

“Flay” someone barked. To the others in the waiting room I understand that could have sounded intimidating, to me it was my surname shouted out in a preppy school boy way.

The consultant was tall and handsome, well what I could see behind the paper mask. He was so enthusiastic you could still practically smell fresh exam papers on him.

We sat and chatted and he was very thorough. We spoke about the fact I couldn’t walk properly, I was needing to take pain killers every 2 hours and I hadn’t had a good night sleep since 2015, but that’s by the by.

I told him I was actually 25, he checked my notes.

So to sum up, he said, I practically did a drum roll …

“Now, people say they have a pain in their knee and other consultants just go ahead and treat them for a pain in the knee, but I like a more holistic approach”

Did you ever watch Do You Want to Be a Millionaire? It sort of reminded me of that! When Chris Tarrant waved a cheque for £10,000 at the contestant and said “but I don’t want to give you that!”.

Back to the consultant.

“You undeniably have severe pain in your knee and limited movement, possible Osteoporosis, but I’m not going to just treat you for that! No, it could be Menopause, or, or, or Cancer!”

Me “WHAT?!”

Well that’s what I thought but I actually said something along the lines of him being the professional and doing what he thought was best.

He’s sending me for an X-ray and gave me a list of things to ask my doctor.

So I filled in another AskmyGP app request and got another automated message saying they’d get to me if it was important which quite frankly I think both Menopause and Cancer are.

The next day, in work, I got a phone call from the doctor. She seemed perplexed and said it was easier just to call. We agreed I was not menopausal so there was no point doing those blood tests and that I would keep on checking my lumpy boobs for any change and we both wondered how my breasts could be linked to my knee pain. I laughed and it came out quite shrill as I said, well I went in there with knee pain and came out worrying I had menopause and cancer, she did not find this funny, in fact it went quite quiet and then she said goodbye and hung up, but I did finally get some decent drugs out of it. By that I mean prescription for my pain not to feed a habit.

Well there you have it. Ooh and in other news, the Twinkles are chuffed to bits they both need to wear glasses and can’t wait to go and collect them today. They are so big and clumpy they were free but the boys love them, I couldn’t even get them to try on the Batman ones. Can you guess what else they are after? Braces?!! What’s going on with children of today?

Right, I best get on.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx