We have been poorly sick! The kind when you feel like an elephant is sat on your chest and the thought of doing the smallest task just makes you want to cry.

I had a call from the school Thursday to say Harry had fallen asleep at his desk. Seeing as we believe he might have ADHD this did set the alarm bells ringing.

I whizzed over to the school and asked if I could take Ollie too or I would have to stand at the gates at pick up time with poorly Harry in tow. They were obliging. As the teacher brought the two out she remarked that poor Ollie was coming down with it too, to which Ollie turned to me and whimpered,

“Oh Mummy, I’m really not very well at all”

It was almost an Oscar worthy performance if Ollie hadn’t smirked under his hand afterwards, the things a mother sees.

So, somewhere in the midst of poor health I decided to sign up for a cold water dip to raise money for Young Lives Versus Cancer.

What was I thinking?

Water temperature in Weston-super-Mare is currently 7 degrees centigrade. Apparently you stay in for a minute per degree of water. It is supposed to be very good for you as long as you don’t get hyperthermia!

I was thinking of backing out gracefully before anyone noticed within seconds of hitting the join button, but I received a message from a lovely stranger who said that the charity had helped her family and now she works for them. Well that filled my happy tank so cold water dip next Sunday it is! It might be the start of a new healthy craze, but I will hold off buying a Dry Robe even though I’ve seen a really cool camouflage one with baby pink fluffy lining.

It will be a contrast to the following Sunday when Ollie and I venture to The O2 Greenwich to see Strictly Live. That’s what I will concentrate on.

Just a short one today guys, I’m afraid this is all I have energy for.

Love and hugs. Kisses and wishes.

So the four of us have booked to go to Comicon, no idea what it will be like just know we have to dress up like idiots and tap into our inner nerd! Got to say, I’m so very excited! I’m sure this will be an excuse to cover myself in glitter and behave raucously!

I was working the journey out allowed when Harry piped up to help.

Me “ It takes 20 minutes by train and then a 10 minute walk from the station”

Harry “why don’t we just do that then?”

Me “ do what pickle?”

Harry “ just walk from the station? If it takes 10 minutes to walk but 20 minutes by train it’s quicker just to walk?”

Please also factor in he was looking at me like I was a complete plonker!

I don’t think I’d had my morning coffee yet so had no oompf in me to explain so simply agreed and said his was the better idea by far!

One extreme to the other, Ollie thinks I’m some kind of food wizard!

Harry has been trying out different eggs all week. Correction, Harry has been making me cook him different eggs every morning before school to learn what his preference is. Now you may think I’ve made a mistake there and just meant different styles, but no, we’ve even tried some blue eggs too.

On the poached egg morning,

Harry ”How do you make poached eggs?”

Me “ there’s a few different ways, but I like to use my old style egg poaching pan. I’ll teach you how to cook if you like, just tell me a few different things you’d like to know how to do and we’ll get you all set!”

Ollie “ ooh Mum, I know what I’d like you to teach me! Marshmallows! Ooh and Willy Wonka chocolate! That would be so good! Then I could give it to my friends and we could fly!”

Me “ well that escalated quickly, how about we start with toast?”

Lee and I have a super king bed, it’s lush! He doesn’t like me Lucy limpeting him in the night because I make him too hot. Think Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, this is my bed space, this is your bed space!

I just see it as an excuse for our dogs to sleep with us. Don’t worry, they’re very clean, cleaner and less germ ridden than our children to be fair.

HArry literally just burst into the bathroom to throw up! I don’t think it’s a bug, he just got over excited about his new Pokémon cards! Yep, we’re at that stage now!

Anyways, Lee was fussing and cuddling over Holly so I told him I wished he was like that with me.

Oh poo, he said something really funny after and now I can’t remember it, as quick as that! I hope it’s just menopause brain fog and not early onset of dementia! I’m totes going to be Googling that now and taking all the online tests and will probably by a Suduko book from The Works for 99p, do one and then forget where I put the book!

On that note, I should probably get out of this bath and check Harry doesn’t need Calpol and the sick bowl.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So this is 2024? I quite like it! To be fair I expected to be feeling somewhat groggy, but there is the strong possibility I’m still intoxicated, if not by alcohol then definitely by cheese!

Don’t worry, I don’t plan to operate any heavy machinery anytime soon. Although I do have a date with the exercise bike today and everyday until I lose 49lbs.

I had planned to see the new year in in the hot tub, but storm Gerrit had other ideas, pesky gale force winds. Note to self, check hot tub is still actually in the garden.

The boys had it about them yesterday so I took them and the dogs to the beach. It was a touch windy, but I thought it would be good for a power walk and firming up the protruding buttocks.

We looked out to sea and I commented on the fog drawing in at an alarming rate, only for it to catch up to us and shower us in hail stones.

The weather was like the beginning of Flash Gordon, I half expected to hear Ming the Merciless dooming laugh, but nothing would have prepared me for Brian Blessed in gold lame short shorts! Nope, this should be saved for the likes of Kylie Minogue or Rylan.

Talking of Rylan, you so thought I’d digressed! For a second there so did I, but back with the programme, I wasn’t sure what to make of Rylan and Rick Astley last night.

Main thoughts were that Rick Astley seemed out of his comfort zone singing “open up your loving arms I want some, I want some’ to Rylan who looked as though he could have popped him in his pocket. In other news, I was getting strong Pierce Brosnan vibes from Rick and wondered if he might be morphing in to him.

Ooh that reminds me, I’m sure I was googling images of them both to prove my point to my friends beau! I wonder what else I googled, oh no, or if I’m going to start having packages arriving from Amazon. Quick check.

Phew, no Amazon activity and apparently during the new years festivities I needed to Google Annie Lennox “Here Comes the Rain”, can you clean an oven with a dishwasher tablet, can fleas survive a hot shower and is Ncuti Gatwa one of the voices on the Mayor of London 2024 fireworks display which were nothing less of magnificent?

I’m not sure why but they brought tears to my eyes, but 15 minutes in I started packing up my cherry liqueur wrappers, guzzling the remains of my Prosecco (doesn’t count towards Dry January as I hadn’t been to bed yet)and wondering if I’d ever get to bed.

With that, the pesky twins have woken up their father with a raucous game of Fortnite so I’d best relinquish the bath. I don’t feel too guilty as he actually woke me last night playing Fortnite in his sleep and giving instructions to the boys, it must have been a really good game!

Right, love and hugs, kisses and wishes and a very happy 2024 to you. Xxx

We are very lucky where we live, not quite a cul de sac, but full of old people that find young Harry and Ollie a novelty, handy!

We got home the other day to parcels in the porch for the boys and not the kind that our fluffy friends leave Lee and I.

Well with all the excitement it didn’t even occur to me to make them wait until Christmas Day. Get ripping boys!

The Twinkles were over the moon to get a personalised wooden Santa or Elf that waved its arms and legs up and down when you pulled its jingle bell. Unfortunately that jingle bell was situated between the legs.

Harry and Ollie chortling “look mum, you pull its balls and it goes YOOOOOWWWCH!”

That seemed reasonable enough to me so I laughed along. You have to choose your battles.

They opened the card and it was from Sharon over the road.

“Ooh” I said to Lee, this is signed just Sharon, but I’m sure she had a fella, maybe they’ve gone their separate ways.

The boys and I decided to thank and cheer Sharon up with one of our Christmas goody bags. They consist of home made marble Christmas chocolate slabs and a button Christmas tree decoration in the shape of a Christmas tree and the bag gets adorned with a real bell. Yes, I am rather pleased with them.

So we’d finished crafting, put shoes on and went over to give Sharon her bag of fun but lo and behold the door was opened by her husband!

Intrigue! Da da daaaaaa!

Knowing the show must go on, I asked said partner if we could see Sharon as we had a little something for her to say thank you.

He asked us to come in, we declined, luckily we could hear the dogs barking which was a good excuse.

But he called for Mary and then Sharon which seemed odd.

Sharon came to the door and we gave her the bag and thanked her for the Santas with the balls and I managed to stop Harry from giving her condolences on her marriage break up just in time.

Off we trotted feeling all proud of ourselves for spreading good cheer and pleased Sharon and husband had found a way back to each other.

Off to work I went next morning, on a Saturday, if this were the panto I’d expect you all to be saying aaaah. As in poor you not screaming.

As I got in I bumped into one of the security guards who also happens to be a neighbour and she said “did you get my pressies for Harry and Ollie? I don’t mind if they want to open them early”

To which I replied “Sharon!!!” As the pennies started to rain down on me!

Luckily she saw the funny side although she asked how I knew it was a boy Santa and I explained because of where the bell was placed.

Well I giggled to myself most the day! What a wally! What must my neighbour Mary be thinking? Do I knock on her door and explain what’s happened? Maybe not as I can’t remember her husbands name.

Why do things like this always seem to happen to me?

Oh well, best get cracking, the boys and I have another goody bag to make!

Love and hugs and Christmas wishes xxx

Well I was just saying to a friend, it’s all a bit of a blur really!

I’m like Dr Doolittle’s Pushmepullyou, very topical at the moment as Grandad has just introduced the boys to the stories and they are wonderful.

I think I’ve done everything, I think everything is in order, I think all the plates are spinning, but I have a nagging feeling that I’ve forgotten something!

I got scammed again, will I ever learn? Harry fell in love with these Emo robots on TikTok and I thought BARGAIN at £25 a pop when they’re being sold for £250, yes, I know, anything that seems to good to be true probably is.

Well I still waited with great expectation and followed the tracking from Hong Kong daily. Apparently the two robots arrived yesterday, what I in fact received was one gawdy bracelet that even Del Boy would be ashamed to adorn on his wrist!

I showed my Westie Bestie who had been with me for the whole emotional journey and bless her, she’s so nice she didn’t even laugh. We actually have a motto, the Twinkles and I, try to be a bit more like Hana. However, I have already warned the boys that should I be flying in to a rage that probably wouldn’t be the best thing to say to me.

On that subject, the other day Ollie melted my heart by grabbing me for an impromptu, engulfing cuddle and telling me he loved me only to draw back, look at me quizzically and tell me that my teeth are really yellow.

They giveth and they taketh away!

Well, you think that’s bad? Our Harry is a clumsy little calamity and was sat next to me in the conservatory. First he hit me in the eye with his jumper sleeve whilst putting said jumper on and then he clouted me on the back of the head with a plastic ball attached to a cord he was swinging above his head!

Me “Ouch Harry! I’m going to have to start calling you Stewie!”

Harry “why?”

Me “because you’re like Stewie Griffin from Family Guy, a baby who is always trying to kill his mum”

Harry “ Don’t be silly Mum, if I was trying to kill you, you’d be dead already!”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He’s 7!

Then he started to cry because he felt hurt that I’d suggest he wanted to kill me! I’ll be glad when he’s out the other side of this growth spurt, his hormones are worse than mine and I’m menopausal!!!

Right, I can bathe no longer, I’m sure there is something I’m supposed to be doing. In the words of Bjork, it’s too quiet!

Love and hugs and Christmas wishes xxx.

In the words of Madonna, I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through!

Seriously, I’ve been lost in some kind of fug.

I blame it on the clocks being turned back. Well not the clocks themselves, ooh, maybe that’s why it’s call Greenwich “mean” time, because it’s REALLY mean!

Just Googled it (always!) and there are also some health concerns linked to the time change, as some studies have shown it disrupts the body’s natural sleep cycles, which can affect both physical and mental health.

“According to the Mayo Clinic, the human brain has a biological clock, also known as a circadian rhythm, that runs on a 24-hour cycle.

Whether it is gaining an extra hour or losing an hour of sleep, this causes disruption to the sleep cycle and can be difficult for some people to adjust back to a normal schedule. Disturbed sleep could also potentially lead to a higher risk of cardiovascular disease.”

That was written in The Independent so must be true! Because my understanding is that it is sad by Intelligent people. I no longer read a paper, it’s too upsetting, but a shame as we are always low on kindling and stuff to dry our wellies.

Whilst researching I found a question a reader had posted on Quora asking if it made you smarter to read a paper book rather than from a tablet?

I’d say give up now!

Well Jiminy Cricket I didn’t know time change was so serious.

I was actually born in Greenwich, completely by accident.

Why just the other day I was telling Ollie that and he asked me if I could speak Greenwich. I told him I was fluent and he seemed well impressed!

Right, the beach is calling us, as always.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So, what’s new in our neck of the woods?

Quite a lot actually. The boys have turned 7 which they inform me is a REALLY big difference. That is also longer than I’ve kept any house plant alive so kudos to me!

Harrison also informs me that my breathe smells worse than the dogs, reminder to self, buy mints! Buy lots of mints.

Ollie told me the other evening that when I come up to check on him before retiring for the night I should wake him to let him know. He said I couldn’t do that when he was six but I can now he is 7. I smiled sweetly at him and thought not on your nelly, I won’t even be doing that when you’re 17 mate!

They haven’t quite grasped the concept of time.

We were driving back from school when Ollie notified me of his intention to travel to Africa. He believed he would be doing this at the age of 12, maybe, 18 or maybe 26. I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that he wouldn’t be travelling to Africa alone at the age of 12, he said he could take a phone, I left the phone argument for another day.

But 12 seems so old to them! I used to think 47 was over the hills, but now I’ve reached it my brain feels the same as when I was 29, I think, but my knees at least 60!

They say that youth is wasted on the young, but if I was as wise then as I am now (which in the grand scheme of things still isn’t that wise) would I have lived? Would I have been so impulsive or had so much fun? I don’t think so. So I will have to politely disagree and say that I wouldn’t want to change, remove, replace, nudge, one tiny little domino as it has all led to where we are today, a happy, little, family bubble bobbing along on the beach.

And I’ve decided to buy a bike! No, not having a mid life crisis, a push bike. I’ve never owned one. Lee thinks this is hilarious having experienced me cycling in Centre Parks. I fish tail! I cycle the same way I used to come home from the pub, all over the place! I just like to use the whole pavement! Don’t want any of it to feel left out. It’s good for the knees, we can do it as a family and I could keep up with the boys. The boys are getting bikes for Christmas, ssh don’t tell them, it’s a surprise.

In my mind, we’re a beautiful, happy, healthy family cycling along the promenade, dripping in sunshine, smiling and laughing. Let’s see what reality has to offer! For some unknown reason I believe it will involve dog poo!

And Lee, I will have the last laugh when I decorate my new bike with those handle bar tassle things and rainbow spoke beads, oooh and an old fashioned car horn.

Quite unrelated it came about in a conversation that I was born in Greenwich. Wait, did I tell you this already? Just in case I didn’t, Ollie asked me if I could speak Greenwich. I told him I was fluent! He was well impressed!

On that note I need to get on! We have an annual family Christmas do to attend and I need to get ready for the festivities!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

I’m sorry I’ve been a bit quiet recently campers, the darkness had got me feeling a bit low.

To be clear, the darkness as in lack of sunshine and vitamin D not the whimsical band, The Darkness, whom I do not find offensive at all.

Also a possibility I’ve been hit in the face by hormones and the dreaded M! (Menopause) I just don’t fancy HRT, it was a long time ago but it sent my Mum a little loopy so I prefer the natural route.

Truth be told, I only invested in my first pack of Menopace Plus to shut my bestie up. She’d dared to suggest I might be menopausal after I’d just finished a long rant about something insignificant. I even took a picture of the box and sent it to her with a caption saying “happy?!”

I’d only been taking it about 3 days when I started to feel “normal” and “like me” again. Ah the relief, bless her, she hasn’t even done the I told you so dance, well not to my face anyway x

I’m also feeling a bit commatastic too, so if all these commas aren’t grammatically correct, then just know they are bringing me happiness! It’s the small things.

So, how about a little quiz to cheer us all up?

I’ll give you an Ollie statement and you can guess what the heck he is talking about.

Are you ready?

Go!

“Mum can I get that thing that makes you cry out diamonds? I want it so I can give all my friends diamonds”

I’ll give you a clue.

We’d been watching TikTok.

You’re right, you’re never going to get it!

Contact lenses!

It was a video on how to effectively and quickly extract your contact lenses. Thumb and forefinger opening the eye, look towards the nose, blink and they pop out!

Little Ollie thought it was an advert selling gizmos that make you blink out diamonds x 7 soon and still cute.

He also informed me this morning that he’d had an allergic reaction. I’d had to ask him and Harry to calm down last night because quite frankly they were both being a bit silly and a lot annoying.

Harry had to sit on the naughty step for 7 minutes because he’d wiped his very wet, soapy hands on Ollies face and hair. I told him to take time to think about the consequences of his actions and that Ollie could have had an allergic reaction as the soap was meant for hands not for faces.

Ollie had digested this information and decided this morning that he had only been naughty and running around as an allergic reaction to the soap.

The other day Harry pushed me so far that I had to sit down, clench my fists and have a controlled scream.

Please don’t worry for him. He told me he exited the room laughing his head off.

I wouldn’t have either of them any other way. I’d much rather they explore their boundaries at home.

I adore them, I am so incredibly proud of them and they drive me insane! I nearly wrote but they drive me insane, but it’s not a but, it’s an and! This makes perfect sense to me, hope it does to you too.

How wonderful to have a Saturday I’m not working or busy. My first wash must nearly be done, I’ve already removed the sharpie stains from the boys table and I still have 30 minutes left in the bath (a deal I made with the Twinkles for YouTube time).

Life is sweet! Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

Having a much needed chillax morning. The boys are still in their jimjams playing Roblox with their buddies and I’m soaking in the bath.

During the week life can feel like a conveyor belt so it’s nice to take the time to breathe which really is quite essential in the grand scheme of things.

Ollie and I have a weekday morning ritual which warms my heart. He sits in the lounge window to wave me off and we bother gesture eye, heart, you, LOADS. The loads bit is symbolised by swinging our arms in a big semi circle and if my coffee has kicked in I sometimes throw my legs into it too like a ski bounce. This amuses the curtain twitching neighbours and on Thursdays the bin men.

I try to put my all in to it because come the evening, six times out of ten, ends with me saying “will you just go to bloody bed?”

I’ve got to wear the boys out today mind. Lee and I are off out on a date night although he’s tried to talk me out of it a few times already. Whatever reason he gives ends in me saying “you will go out and you will bloody enjoy it”

Dad, I know I’m using the word ‘bloody’ a lot, but I just Googled and Wikipediad it and it’s a mild expletive or intensifier and both of those sentences did need intensifying so it was used correctly, but I apologise all the same and to anyone else who might find it offensive. If that is the case though, you most definitely should not be in my car for the school run (before the children are in the car).

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, date night! Tonight we are trying out Loco Mexicano. I’ve wanted to go since we’ve moved here, looks like fun and I’ve heard the cocktails are good and a night for Lee and I to remember we’re us and not just Mum and Dad is always good for the soul.

Can’t have a late one though because family visit to Extreme Circus tomorrow, the worlds only 7 star circus. I’m in for the stunt bikes and have fully prepped by purchasing Ollie some funky ear defenders. Do you know, I got a fabulous deal on Groupon? Literally half price! Whilst I’m going to enjoy it even more because it was a Brucie bargain, I am aware how incredibly old that sentence made me sound. Almost as bad as the other day when I was telling the other mums about my boiling whites routine (washing ).

Okay, now I’m just rambling so I’m going to treat myself to a round of Candycrush and continue to turn myself into a raisin.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So I decided to paint the summerhouse ceiling at 07:30 this morning!

1. had gotten a little behind due to sweat inducing heat wave.

2. Weigh in tomorrow and let’s face it, I’ve been bad!

3. I’m a glutton for punishment!

Number 4 would be naive, but I wanted to write a bit about that and not just that it’s spelt weird! I honestly thought it would take about an hour maybe 90 minutes including clear up time. IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS JUST TO DO THE CUTTING IN!

I don’t know if it was the heat, needing the light on, it certainly wasn’t cheap paint but it had blobs in it, more than just the bugs that got swept along for the ride. At some points it had the consistency of plaster. Bits kept falling off and landing on my face.

A couple of hours in and I just didn’t care anymore. Lee surfaced and popped in to see me.

I stood there in my pyjamas, splattered in white paint, safety glasses steamed up, sweat dripping off me, roller in one hand, paint brush in t’other.

This is the monologue he got welcomed with,

“ I don’t know what’s going on babe, it’s got loads of bits in it. It’s not going to look perfect and anyone who is really interested in the state of our ceiling probably shouldn’t really be our friend anyway. I started off neat, but my glasses kept steaming up so I couldn’t see a bloody thing and bits kept falling on my face and I swear a spider actually fell in my mouth!”

He looked at the ceiling and then back at me and burst out laughing. It was just what I needed. Believe me he offered to help several times but we had an agreement that he would build it and I would paint it and a pact is a pact.

I then went on to say that I’d had a word with myself and not cried even though I really felt like it and I’d just kept going, but he didn’t have to worry because I’d come up with a genius plan to cover it in glow in the dark stickers and I could get the boys to help me and then we could blame it on them!

I felt a little bad for throwing them under the bus, especially as Ollie had kept running out to give me cuddles for moral support even through the thunderstorm.

However, you might not feel so sorry for him when you hear the shenanigans I have to put up with.

The other day I was doing my speed awareness course over zoom. Yes I know, I’m very naughty and no the instructor also does not think it’s okay to go 82 on the motorway because you’re playing some banging tunes.

It was during the school holidays and in registration the instructor made it painfully clear that he was being very cool by letting me proceed even though I had my 6 year old twins at home.

We had to have our microphones and videos on and even got timed if we left the room so it was VERY serious.

I had my mobile set up in the conservatory so it couldn’t be seen that Ollie was sat next to me and had given both boys strict instructions and plenty of bribes to be quiet.

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of being in a group zoom call, the box that contains your face actually gets a ring around it when you make a noise to alert everyone.

Yep, you’ve guessed it, Ollie let out a humdinger of a fart and I couldn’t do anything about it. I just had to sit there knowing that everyone on the call thought it was me!

There was no point trying to reason with him. The other day he was eating his chocolate coated rice cake upside down. I asked him to eat it normally. He turned to me and said.

“I am normal, this is the way I am eating it, so I am eating it normally”

For those of you who are interested, it took me 5 solid hours! To pack up I literally downed my brushes, put the lid back on the paint and walked out leaving a trail of white behind me.

It’s been a while since I’ve written, I’m going to try and get back in to the swing of it again.

Hope life is treating you sunny side up.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx