A day in the life of living with Harry. 

Let’s take Thursday 31st October, Halloween, seems appropriate. 

Harry awoke me at 05:50, he’s an early morning dude, I get that. Every morning I wake up breathing I think is a win. 

Half awake and needing the loo I practically fell to the floor when Harry rugby tackled me round the legs. I’d forgotten our early morning cuddle ritual. Harry does love a cuddle and he hugs you with every essence of his soul. 

To him he was showing me affection, to me we nearly had a catastrophe. Harry lives in the now and hasn’t yet grasped consequences of actions. This is the cause of a lot of accidents, but it’s never from a place of malice. 

Harry has the biggest, kindest, heart and feels things deeply, but you have to earn your place there. Once in, you are there for life, whether you like it or not. 

We were off to the opening of Smyths Toys Superstores. There’s a strong possibility I was more excited than the boys even though they’d saved their pocket money up all month and even done extra chores for pennies. The both of them had excellent parents evening results so had also been rewarded for that. Note to self, I must stop asking the teacher if she is sure she’s talking about my children. Harry is a joy to have in the class and a natural born leader as well as protector apparently. Actually, I do agree with that! 

So we picked up the Westie Besties and got to Smyths nice and early. 

They were giving out toys, balloons and beanies outside and Harry walked past. I called him to come back but he said he didn’t want anything. I advised him that if anyone is giving out anything free, even a bogie, take it and then decide if you want to keep it or gift it to someone else. Other mothers in the queue and the shop workers seemed to feel this was sound advice, but maybe set the bar higher than a bogie. Okay, I hadn’t had my coffee and it was the first thing that came to mind. 

Ollie found what he wanted pretty instantly and totted it all up in his head, he does love his maths! He was recently elected for school council after I suggested he change his speech from wanting extra maths classes.

Harry always finds it overwhelming. He’s extremely good with money and doesn’t like to spend it, but he also worries about changing his mind. He was pretty sure he wanted a Rio Madrid football and a Bobble Head, but in the last aisle he found a big, cuddly husky and it was love at first sight. Harry is a sucker for cuddly toys and collects them. He calls them his family and he looks after them incredibly well being sure to tuck them in at night. 

We were just at the til getting ready to pay when something odd caught the corner of my eye. 

Tap on my arm from Harry and he confirmed I’d just seen someone shoplifting. 

Well Harry wasn’t having that. He made sure all the staff in the local area knew exactly who the perpetrator was and what he’d done. He wasn’t that surreptitious about it, but it wasn’t happening on his watch! 

I’ve had to talk to Harry about allowing his teachers to deal with problems at school and not to take matters into to his own hands. He recently homed in on the nutcracker (named so for obvious reasons) who’d upset a lot of his friends both physically and mentally, but hopefully he has now passed the baton to his teacher. 

Harry would currently like to be a dog handler in the police as well as a footballer or a YouTuber of course!

Later on that day we picked up the Westie Besties again to meet up with another delicious family for a Halloween get together. 

Harry wasn’t sure dressing up would suit his street cred. Once Harry has an idea in his mind he is hard to budge. A positive quality but not when you’re on the opposite side. He settled for Deadpool which he also wore to World Book Day, luckily they thought it was Spider-Man. 

After a bit of merriment we took the children trick or treating. For years I thought this was trickle treating. 

They knocked on the doors and all showed off their wonderful manners by only taking one sweet and saying thank you however I heard Harry saying 

“Please don’t kidnap me” to each person who opened their door.

Lee assured him they would soon hand him back if that did happen! 

One poor person took a while to open their door so Harry naturally asked him if he was having a poo. 

So there you have it. Our little Harry. Currently being assessed for Hyperactivity Disorder for the extra energy, a rollercoaster of a ride, but strong, kind, protective, sensitive and extremely funny! 

We are truly blessed! I can already hear my husband saying “you’re welcome!” 

Xxxx 

I was just sat in our conservatory admiring the clear, crisp, sun kissed sky and gearing up for a rendition of Oklahoma in my brain when I got rudely awoken from my reverie by Princess Fluffypants. 

She literally plonked herself down next to me and prodded me with a chunky paw. 

I had been up for at least 20 minutes and she had not yet been fed. If only she had opposable thumbs to be able to call NSPCC. 

I dutifully left my pile of washing and fed Tilly and Holly before continuing my chores.

A friend once told me that Tilly had winked at her for a sausage, but she’s named dancing Lou and I thought she might have been under the influence, but now I am unsure.

If I have painted a picture for you of a middle aged woman sat in her conservatory, admiring the morning sky whilst sorting the washing and singing show tunes that would be correct and me to a tee. Had to Google whether it was tee or tea to be honest. 

The twins had come down with me in their pyjamas and oodies and were enjoying their earned screen time so not in a rush for breakfast. 

Last night whilst snuggled up on the sofa enjoying Strictly Ollie tried to offer me some sweets Lee had bought him. He’d treated all the children to a pot each of yummy marshmallows, gummies, sours and other such delights. 

I told Ollie “no thank you, I am sticking to my diet. “

He then broke off the tiniest morsel stuck to his finger nail and offered it to me. “ go on Mum, just a little taster like that!”

“No thank you Ollie, I have to be super strict. No sugar! “

“I don’t like your diet Mum! Harry doesn’t like it either and we don’t think you should do it. You’re not even allowed grapes!!!!”

Me “ It is very sweet of you to care, but it’s important to me to get to my goal and I’ve nearly lost two stone!”

Ollie incredulous “ you’ve lost an elephant?”

Me “you what now?”

Ollie “ you’ve nearly lost 2 tonne. Daddy says an elephant ways a tonne!”

Me “ well if anything is going to encourage me to stick to my diet, that is, so thank you Ollie. Now ssh and watch Strictly and leave me to my gin!”

In other news, we were driving along the other day and completely out the blue, Harry pipes up from the back,

“Mum, what song do you want me to play at your funeral?”

They certainly keep me on my toes! 

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx 

The crux of the matter is that I am poorly sick. 

We’re talking a head full of bogies, burning chest, sore throat, headache and queasy tummy. 

From the minute I got up this morning to now I have had the opposite of the Midas Effect! 

Everything I have touched has turned to poo! 

Whilst trying to prepare breakfast and lunchboxes this morning I knocked over the milk, tripped over the dishwasher, nearly knocked myself out with the fridge door, put chocolate protein powder on my spinach and the list goes on. 

I managed to get off to work and contained my germs to myself, kept my head down and got through to the end of the day. 

I collected the boys from school but by the time I got home my nose was red raw, my tummy was turning and I was ready for the next lot of meds and a snooze. 

A little sprinkle of joy was that Coco the hamster made an appearance to reassure us she was not in fact dead. 

At this point I was on a conveyor belt ticking the chores off the list, each time a step close to my bubble bath safe haven. 

Ollie wanted bolognaise for tea, Harry wanted a bowl of cheesy beans. 

Harry was excited to meet up with his friend Max on Fortnite but his Switch was out of power. So I plugged him into the mains in the lounge. The console not my child, it’s not been that much of a bad day! 

Ollie was happily playing Roblox online with his friend Josh at the dining room table whilst humming “Sunroof” over and over again. This is something I don’t think I could get tired of, but never say never and all that jazz!

I’d just thrown some butter in a pan on the hob on a low heat when Harry started calling me from the lounge. He could hear his friends chatting on the console and was desperate for his headphones. I ran them in to him but they didn’t seem to work. 

Harry got more and more frustrated so I asked him to give me the console so I could get everything working for him. 

I got there in the end, well half way there. One friend could hear him but the other couldn’t.

I could still hear Ollie humming away in the dining room which is open plan with the kitchen and the conservatory in a U shape. 

I told Harry I needed to go and get on with dinner which agitated him somewhat. He’s currently on two lots of antibiotics so we’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster there. 

I walked in to the kitchen to see the pan on fire. 

I have had so much fire training dating back to the Girl Guides, maybe even the Brownies. 

I know the triangle!

I know to place a clean dish towel over the top of the pan to starve the fire of oxygen. It’s why we keep two clean towels hanging on the oven doors and even have a fire blanket under the sink in easy reach. 

But I didn’t do that, any of it. 

I panicked. Luckily I panic internally so it rarely shows. 

I just wanted to get the fire out of the house and away from our children which includes our two dogs. 

I picked the pan up off the stove and started walking to the back door knowing it was already wedged open for the dogs.

Of course the movement only fed the fire and the flames grew. 

At this point Ollie was alerted and jumped up asking if I was okay. 

I told him to shut up. No Mum of the year award here!

There is a chiffon material divide between the dining room and the conservatory I had to navigate without catching fire.  I also then realised I was wearing a flammable chiffon dress. 

As I swerved around the curtain the flames caught my hair and I heard a sizzle. I patted them out with my left hand. 

I was aware that flames were engulfing my right hand but nothing was stopping me from getting that pan to a safe distance. 

I hurled that pan from the back door to the middle of the lawn where it rests in peace as we speak. 

I apologised to Ollie, told him I was panicking but he kindly told me he knew I meant it as a warning for him to stay back and gave me a big cuddle. 

It was then all the smoke alarms came on so I ran upstairs waiving the towel to disperse the smoke. 

I then checked the downstairs toilet mirror to see a frazzled side of my hair and burned hair bobble. It’s lucky it wasn’t the 80s or I would have gone up like a fireball with all the products I used to apply. 

Harry then called me from the lounge to tell me he’d won the mission, completely oblivious. 

Ollie decided he didn’t fancy bolognaise after all and settled for pasta with black olives. I did offer bacon and cheese but I think he didn’t trust  me cooking. 

My hair is getting its second wash of the day, why does burned hair smell so bad? 

I’d like to say I’ve learned my lesson, but whilst on holiday with my friend Lou, in our early twenties and our then boyfriends the boys had left us drunkenly in charge of a chip pan. That too caught fire and we were in a log cabin and I did exactly the same thing. I still had the scar to prove it although that has now been covered with a fresh burn. 

Please people, learn from my mistakes. 

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes, Calamity Juicy xxx 

It was a Wednesday. The sky was grey and there was a faint mist in the air, only joking! Well, not about the it being Wednesday part. 

We got back from the school run to find Dad sitting in complete silence, reading a book by window light. 

Well this is all incredibly eco and penny friendly I thought until Dad told me we’d had a power cut! Oh poo or words to that effect. We had a quick turnaround to get dinner chomped and then to football practice, not a convenient time for no power. 

I text some neighbours and found out that the lack of power was localised to us and Vicky at number 14 likes to meet a friend for Pilates on a Wednesday. 

Right, time to get sensible, yuck! 

I checked the fuse box and gave myself a brownie point just for knowing where it was.

It was the mains fuse that was down. 

Grandad offered to help many times, but I could feel one of my mini melt downs coming on and suggested he’d be safer staying out the way. 

I went through the house turning everything off and then back to the fuse box only for it to flick back off. 

At this point the twins were enlisted and I wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

I could hear something beeping in the seconds the power stayed on. 

I got the boys to play hunt the beep. 

Harry blamed it on random things like a squeaky toy and some dog food, I think he might have been teasing me, but the boys whittled it down to the tumble or the washing machine.

Neither had been on as we hadn’t been home which was concerning. Very safety conscious and sensible is my Lee and has always said a strict no to having them on whilst out. A little frustrating when you have oodles of washing to get through, but yes I will let him do the I told you so dance. 

The tumble had been coming on when I flicked the mains switch. So I followed the lead to the plug and was horrified to see it was burnt from the inside out and melted on to the socket! 

Our dogs! Our hamsters! A mum at training pointed out I could also be concerned for our home being burned to the ground!

Our tumble was out of warranty but luckily we’d signed up for some kind of care package on 3 appliances when our washing machine stopped working. This is where I get to do the I told you so dance for signing up to everything. 

I got an engineer booked in at the earliest slot which was the following Friday. Long time to go without a tumble with 4 children, two dogs and a household passion for muddy play! 

He literally said it was a dream job. Even with Holly our miniature Schnauzer continually squeaking at him. 

Came in, took the back off, took the old lead off, attached a new one, back on, bish, bash, bosh, jobs a good’un!

HOWEVER

And this is the part you need to take in. He said this was COMMON! A power surge usually caused by a power cut will cause an electrical fire in the plug! 

You say WHAT?!

Even though the tumble was OFF! 

Listen up people, for the sake of your hamsters, you MUST turn your appliances off at the mains when you’re not using them! 

I consider us all to have had a very lucky escape and I’m grateful to my Mums in heaven who I believe are our guardian angels or OB1 Kenobis dependent on your belief. Yes I did sign the electoral role to say I was a Jedi and I’m not sorry. 

Love and hugs, power off at the sockets beautiful people xxx 

So, it turns out I’m now a football Mum!

Like most things that seem to happen to our family, it started by accident. 

Harry wanted to play football on real grass! Not indoors, not on a playground, but on real grass. I thought it might be a whimsy that would pass, but it wasn’t. 

The Summer holidays came and went in the blink of an eye, but I managed to reach out to quite a few local under 8 football teams. Most ignored me, one came back to say you’re too late, but a jolly nice person from Priory Pumas contacted me over messenger to ask for my number and say they’d get the U8s manager to contact me.

Okay, I admit it, I was naive, I didn’t know how this all works or when it’s supposed to be done by. 

Luke sent me a lovely message to say their team had all registered and the boys would not be able to play actual matches, but they were welcome to come down to training and have a kick around. 

Well how nice is that I thought to myself?! I think my emojis might also have relayed that message in my responding texts. 

So off we trotted to get some boots. The sales assistant in Sports Direct had to coach Ollie and I on what actually were football boots and not just to choose the pinkest!

We’ve got some basic ones with the promise of dead fancy ones at Christmas if the boys stick to it! 

The first Tuesday was upon us in no time and as luck would have it, it was a beautiful evening. 

Second lesson, take a folding chair.

I envied the women walking past me with their must have accessory seat, more than any designer bag. 

The getting down on the pavement was fine, but my arthritic knees forced me to get up with the grace of Robin Williams as Mrs Doubtfire!

My goodness the boys were good! I’m bound to say that, I’m their Mum, but Harry seemed to be a magnet for the ball and Ollie so fast! 

It was noticeable from the offset that the coaches demand sportsmanship, respect and kindness!

The manager came up to me afterwards to say the boys had done incredibly well and had some real potential! They totes get that from their Dad, he was a bit of a local legend of Lockleaze back in the day! 

Lee made himself free to come with me the following week and was also incredibly impressed. However that was the day we got the news that training day was moving to Wednesday in direct conflict with their favourite martial arts class. 

It was a resounding football over fighting from the twins. 

We came to realise that the quality of training they are receiving from Rising Tide is to such a high standard compared to others that it is worth staying with them for one lesson a week rather than transferring for a possible two elsewhere! Good to know!

Lee is dismayed that I have treated myself to a Dryrobe! The Croc of coats! He believes they should be saved for cold water swimming as intended, but I showed him the blurb on Amazon on my Ponch which definitely says suitable for dog walking, camping and watching sports! So there! I could possibly have chosen a more discreet one, but I liked the camouflage one with a bubblegum pink fleece! 

Last Wednesday I was plonked in my chair in my dryrobe aka sleeping bag and all my worries melted away into the warm, snuggle, windproofness of it all. I do believe I may have made up a new word! 

Two weeks ago the coach gave us some very exciting news and said there was still time for new players to register! I had practically ordered their team kit before he’d finished his sentence! 

Actually that isn’t true! I had technical difficulties when trying to register the boys which made me feel incredibly old! Turns out iPhone photos don’t save as JPEGs or something equally as interesting, but coach was very patient and we got there in the end! Both him and Lee enjoyed telling me it was because I have a scabby Apple! It’s my IFriend and that is final. 

So 5th October finally arrived and with it the popping of the boys football match cherry!

It was a grey beginning and there had been plenty of rain during the week, so much so our garden had turned into a bog. 

I won’t sugar coat it! The boys had been particularly hyper and I had reminded them I didn’t have to take them and stand in a cold, wet field pretending to be excited about children kicking a cow skin about!

Mutter, mutter, whinge, whinge, nurgle! 

We got there. I plonked myself in my chair regretting forgetting a flask of something nice. No! Not alcohol!

I had warned both boys they were lucky to even be there supporting their team and if they got a second on the field it was to be considered a Brucie Bonus! 

Well they both did! This is bitter sweet though! The manager had definitely said to wear any old T-shirt as if they were swapped in they could borrow a match top from another player. 

I took him literally. Harry was in his stepbrothers old pyjama T-shirt top and Ollie was in an Unspeakable T-shirt which must have shrunk in the wash as was looking a bit on the crop top side! 

There was no swapping. Both my boys played wearing those tops and even for the team photo as I didn’t get a chance to get their coats on first! 

We watched in awe as the first team played. Should I have been amazed at how talented these children are?

The sun came out, the atmosphere was electric and there was great camaraderie between the parents. 

Ooh I could get used to this I thought to myself! 

Ollie actually chose to be in goal and he was magnificent! He caught a power ball hurtling towards his face and held it to him like a baby. Another he literally caught with his knees! He most definitely caught more than he let in. 

It was not good for my nerves however and I was so grateful whenever Harry came on as he really kept the ball down the other end where we wanted it! 

Our team did not win, but my goodness they came off the pitch with the biggest smiles and proud to be a part of something!

Away game this weekend. Wondering if I can get away with a portable fishing tent or is that one step too far? 

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx 

How can something so minimal ricochet into such a domino effect? 

I’m talking about data. Not the Star Trek kind, but the mobile kind. 

Gosh, where to start?

Well, we’d been on holiday to Cornwall, but you already know about that. 

The boys appreciate screen time and I always have ample data so I set my mobile up as a hotspot. I want to be flippant about this, but I can’t, I was chuffed to bits with myself for working it out. 

However it drained my data in days. 

No worries, I splashed out £8.95 for some more to tide me over. 

That got drained too.

Wait, is this getting boring? I’ll move along.

Flash forward, or is it fast? I prefer flash! And we’re in Sand Bay Bus Terminal car park. 

I have an app for parking, several, cos I’m that kinda girl!

However it turns out it needs internet to work.

Oh poop, it’s sunny, I’m trapped in a car with two children and two yapping dogs ready for a walk.

I search around my car and accumulate 60p, result.

Off to the meter, will only take a minimum of £1 and cash only. 

Back to the drawing board. 

Can’t concentrate, boys a chatting and dogs a yapping. 

Send the boys to play with the monster trucks outside the car, divide and conquer. There was a grassy verge, I wasn’t asking them to play in the car park, they hadn’t annoyed me that much. 

Right, pay for more data. 

Can’t pay for more data as can’t get online to do it. 

Off I went to see our friendly ice cream man who has helped us out in the past. 

“Could you please help us out of a sticky predicament?”

He looked concerned and quite enthralled at the same time. 

“It’s nothing that exciting I’m afraid. Could I please buy the boys two ice creams and could you add 40p to the total so I could get cash back and have enough for a parking ticket please?”

He is so lovely and turns out the traffic warden is his friend and had just visited so suggested I might get away without one for an hour. 

“Whilst that is tempting and I appreciate you’re trying to help us, I’d rather teach the boys to do the right thing and not give up at the first hurdle. They get an ice cream out of it, you get some custom and I get a clear conscious.”

So that is what we did and the boys decided to treat themselves to Magnums, the most expensive ice cream on the list, they milked the situation for all it was worth. 

It was a lovely walk.

I think my moral today is false economy. I should have just bought more data earlier. I’ve ended up spending much more on this and other things than I would have if I could have just clicked into the internet. 

Hope you are having a delicious weekend. I was working yesterday so ours started last night with a Strictly Launch Party Pyjama Party.

I love Strictly! It symbolises Autumn and the countdown to Christmas. Plus there’s the glitter, the dancing and the razzmatazz! 

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx 

Well that was nice! 

I’ve actually made myself giggle. Really not in the mood to write, tired and have a headache. How funny would it be if that was all I wrote about our week away? Well that was nice. 

So obviously it was filled with the usual delicious stuff like welly walks, bodyboarding, crabbing, rock pooling, badminton, theme parks, touch rugby, film night snuggled up in the caravan under fluffy blankets sipping on hot chocolate with marshmallows and whippy cream. 

It was also littered with 4 hormonal children trapped in a tin can oops caravan, storms, teeny tiny uncomfortable beds, a shower you could barely fill a kettle from, sleep deprivation and more rain. Cor it felt good to get that off my chest, we’re not the Brady Bunch. Do you know what though? Those will probably be the things we laugh about when the boys are in their 20s and visiting for Sunday lunch, although Harry informs me he is never moving out. 

Anyways, you don’t want to hear about the good, the bad or the ugly, let me share some of the funny bits with you.

I’m not sure if this will tiggle you as much as it tiggled me, but Stepmonster number 1 (remember we’re a stepmonster gang, all about inclusivity and making blended family life work) wafted out of her cabin smelling scrumptious! 

Me “ oh my goodness you smell fine, what is that perfume you’re wearing girlfriend? “

At this point I should probably remind you that she is 14 and I am trying, but failing, to be down with the kids. 

SM1 “ hmm not sure, think it’s Dinky Apple”

Me “ Don’t think I’ve heard of that one.”

Spying the apple shaped bottle in her hand.

“ Do you mean DKNY Delicious?”

I did actually get offered a job with DKNY back in my fashion days when I was living in Paris working for Corinne Cobson, but that’s a whole other story. Maybe I’ll tell it another time. ( Yes that’s really true, feels like a life time ago and whilst fabulous, not a patch on the family happiness I have today.) 

Next I hear you cry. 

There were many car journeys. Daisy our VW Touran covered in flowers did us proud. Luckily where Lee had to hug some bushes down winding country roads playing chicken with oncoming traffic Daisy has acquired some new scratches so she is going to be getting more stickers! Woohoo! 

So these journeys were filled with wondrous conversations and debates. Let me share some with you.

From Stepmonster 2 – so if you could be paid £100m, but be followed by an immortal snail who can swim and would kill you with one touch would you take it?

It was a resounding yes. 

Ollie would pay to have it flown into space. Lee would pay someone to attach a sensor to it so he’d know when it was coming and move country every time it was near, Harry would trap it under a plastic box. 

Ollie informed us that it doesn’t take 7 years to digest chewing gum, but we all decided it was best not to and I wasn’t keen on the ideas they were coming up with to check said chewing gum had come  back out. 

This led to SM2 regaling a tale of a boy in his primary school who wrote the ABC on the toilet block wall in poo. Another conversation I decided to cut short. 

Another trip and Ollie piped up from the back out of nowhere asking if it was possible for someone to be gay with 8 men. 

After checking I had heard his question correctly and understood it, I responded that of course it is possible but it’s just plain greedy and really for a happy, healthy relationship you’re best off just finding the one. 

Back to those winding roads. There was the need for Lee to beep the beeper on a few blind bends. 

Harry “Dad, why do you keep beeping?”

Lee “ to warn other drivers because it’s a blind bend.”

Harry incredulous “ to warn blind drivers??”

Lee “ yes, I’m beeping so their guide dogs can warn them” 

Harry went quiet and thought about it for the rest of that journey. 

But I think my ultimate belly wobble came from SM2 on our welly walk at Cardinham Woods. If I’m being really honest it was more of a Croc walk than a welly walk. 

Half way round the walk we like to do the river ends at a damn. It has created a shallow pond, perfect for rock skimming and exploring and under the shelter of tall forest pines. We ate our lunch here and the children played. 

Actually, side note, one of the things I loved most about our free range holiday was that all four children played, really played, like something from Swallows and Amazons which I enjoyed reading as a child. 

Anyway, unfortunately there was already a family enjoying our favourite spot when we arrived. Obviously we are happy to share, but they had a daughter, about 9ish who was a cross between Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop. 

She was literally throwing rocks at our children. We kept looking over at her parents in the hope they would chastise her, but to them, everything she was doing was adorable. 

I was just thinking of the best way to manage the situation when SM2 decided to put an end to it himself. He picked up the biggest boulder his 12 year old body could carry and threw it into the pool behind her creating a tidal wave. 

To which she shouted “REALLY??!!” 

She stormed off to her Mum and Dad demanding to be taken home via the cafe for an ice cream to cheer her up. 

Job done! 

I gave SM2 the biggest hug and thanked him for being so awesome. We laughed about that the whole walk back. 

Well look at that, I did write a blog after all. Just goes to show, with things you don’t feel like doing, you just have to start. 

Did you ever watch He-Man? At the end of every cartoon they used to have a lesson learned, I feel like I’ve done that with my blog today. 

Best quit whilst I’m ahead! Plus I need some painkillers!

Ooh, must say a big thank you to my Dad who made it all possible by house and dog sitting.

Love and hugs and kisses and wishes xxxx

I’m going to level with you readers. I’ve been finding it hard to get the boys to settle at bedtime over the holidays. 

On the one hand it’s good that they are happy, excited and have lots to look forward to. On the other, I’m pooped and need to chillax with Lee, Netflix and preferably an alcoholic beverage of choice. There’s a cut off point, usually 8pm where I begrudge children time trickling into adult time. 

I seem to have a new mantra for the boys. How good you are tonight will reflect how good your day is tomorrow. 

Some of you may call it blatant bribery, I like to refer to it as friendly coercion. 

Monday evening they were amazing. It could have been they were bushwhacked from a day of camp, I love you Future Stars Coaching or they could genuinely have been trying their best to be good. I’ll let you decide that. 

So Tuesday morning I told them they had earned an okay day. They were slightly puzzled at first, surely their efforts hadn’t been in vane? But they had given me a whole evening to rejuvenate and I was feeling sassy. 

I explained to them that, within reason, whatever they wanted to do, I’d say okay to. 

By 09:30 we were at the skate park after a breakfast of tea, chocolate and biscuits. Not me, I’m still Ketotastic and loving it.

Obviously they had calories galore to burn off. 

We made friends with Ryan a BMXer who kindly shared the park with the boys and even coached them on how to handle a medium sized slope. He was easing himself back into it after a gnarly crash that broke his collar bone. I couldn’t age him. Anywhere between 20 to 40ish. I even got to wondering if he could be some retired famous dude, yes, I fill my time daydreaming and taking photos whilst the boys scoot. I suggested I might bring my chalks down next time and pretty the place up, it’s a bit grey. Ryan seemed to think this was a good idea, but he could be recovering from a brain injury for all we know. 

All skated out we whizzed home, grabbed the dogs and went off to Bluebell woods. This has been one of our favourite places this holiday, especially in the heat. 

We play epic games of hide and seek, hunt for treasure and enjoy the swings dotted about the place from a locals kind Grandad. 

Home for lunch, a picky plate of fun. 

Then off to Puxton Park where we discovered a new amusement, pedalos!! 

Here I came into my element! My knees might be dodgy, but by Jove I can cycle! It was brilliant! We spent ages on the lake and the boys were amazed how fast I could go. I often get mum guilt for the pure fact I can’t do simple things like walk far, let alone run, so this felt good. Was also glad to be wearing my Fitbit!

After an epic adventure in the massive play barn the Twinkles decided it was time to venture home. 

We are so lucky to have Puxton on our doorstep. It has years of adventure left in it for us. 

So full of ice cream, sweets and chocolate biscuits the boys actually requested a sensible dinner. 

Then it was off to meet the Priory Pumas JFC for the first time. 

What a welcome! And what a nice community feeling. The coaches were firm, fair and fun, just how we like them. 

Harry seemed to be a magnet for the ball and scored a goal in no time. Ollie is fast! If he’s got the ball, you’re not catching him. 

The boys loved it and I was so proud when the coach came up to say they had ability. That’s down to their Dad I told him, never fancied him more than watching him play, or when he was pruning the olive tree shirtless in the sun. There I go daydreaming again and no I didn’t tell coach that bit.

We got home and the boys asked me if they could please just go to bed. Too much fun Mummy. 

So you see, an okay day actually turned out to be magnificent. 

I heard something the other day about reclaiming the day. For example you’ve had a long, hard day at work and you then do something nice in the evening to add a bit of magic to your day. My go to would probably be the hot tub with Lee and a glass of pink fizz. 

Yesterday morning I was preparing breakfast. Smooth Radio was on and they were banging out some belters. The boys were sat at the table on their tablets (a holiday earned reward)eating their breakfast with their Dad who was engrossed in his phone. The dogs were sat at his feet praying for sausage droppings. I stopped what I was doing to breathe it all in, just for a minute or two. Already I had had a special day. How lucky I am I thought and gave each of them a big kiss and cuddle. Lee ended the moment by informing us all he was going for his morning poo. 

Life is so magical. 

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes. 

It was Sunday night. Day 5 of the holidays and all was going well. For those of you who watched Big Brother, I totally said that in the voice of Marcus Bentley, the narrator.

Harry was feeling apprehensive about going to Summer camp. He’s a meat and two veg, stay at home kind of guy.

Our Harry does not like to drink. I have to blackmail him or set water challenges throughout the day. Our Ollie would take all his meals in liquid form given the chance. I’m of this volition too, but more of a grown up drink!

Harry started getting floppy just after dinner and his tummy started to hurt.

Naturally I thought he was

a) trying it on a bit

b) dehydrated

c) over heated

d) possibly needed a poo.

So we did the bed time wind down and got them to bed pretty smart and I promised to sleep in with them, a given when one is sick.

Lee had to go up and check on them a few times as we heard Harry arguing with someone over the monitor. Ollie was non plus and swore it wasn’t him. Harry was fast asleep. Note to self, must write a blog about all the sleep walking and talking our family get up to!

Fast forward to 3am and all of a sudden Harry is in agony. His temperature was sky high and he was complaining of pains in his chest and tummy, it even hurt to touch. I tried Calpol, Andrew Salts and gently banging him on the back and set a timer to give it all time to work.

20 minutes later and Harry was still in agony so I got him dressed quickly. Tied a cold towel round his head a la Rambo, equipped him with a water bottle, sick bowl and Wheatsy his favourite cuddly dog , given to me by Nanny Pat and off we went to the hospital.

It was a very peaceful ride and Heart were playing some tunes. We spied a fox and Harry asked why the night sky was blue and green.

We got to the hospital only to find it shut and not opening until 07:00. Great.

However, on the drive home, everything got to work and it was a loud and smelly journey which Harry obviously found hilarious. I thought he was going to rocket himself out of his seat at one point.

Ollie was awake when we got back and desperate to give us both a cuddle and comfort us.

Managed 3 hours and 49 minutes sleep, Fitbit told me. The boys still made it to camp and I made it to work. Proud of my little troopers.

Harry apologised which I assured him was completely unnecessary. I then told him about the time in my early 20’s (yes I remember that long ago) when I’d called 111 thinking I was having a heart attack. The advisor asked me to sit up and I let out a mahusive burp. I was very embarrassed, but he laughed and said he was glad it was wind and not heart failure. Me too!

That reminds me, it can’t have been more than a month that Lee and I had been dating when I got gluten poisoned. I had to get on all fours and rock back and forth and ask Lee to slam me on the back as hard as he could. It felt so good and did the trick and resulted in the most loudest and fullest of burps. I knew then that Lee was a keeper although he was slightly worried how it must have sounded to our neighbours!

Turns out, before my time, a lady at work had been stretchered out into an ambulance and whizzed to hospital only to find she had wind. Think that would have been more embarrassing.

We’ve probably all got our own wind stories.

Right, the Twinkles and I have a day of fun planned so I best be off.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

And relax? Seriously? What am I saying? Summer holidays with 7 year old twin boys is definitely not relaxing! Challenging might be a better word for it!

Just the other day our little Ollie looked at me with his big grey / green eyes and loving smile and said,

“Mummy, I think you’d be REALLY good at Sumo”

He genuinely meant it as a loving compliment.

Instead of hitting the Vodka or him I chose to turn the energy into positivity and let it catapult me into the world of Keto.

Friends at work swear by Keto and I swore (lots of swearing going on) that I would never do it! Then I did a bit of Googling, then bought a Keto recipe book and still said I wasn’t going to do it and now I’m second week in and feeling great!

I mean I’ve tried the Cambridge diet, Atkins, Blood type diet, all fruit diet, 450 calorie a day diet, WeightWatchers, Slimming World, Anorexia, might as well throw another one in the mix.

This diet seems to work for me and just makes sense. No sugar and very limited Carbs. It’s eliminated all the highly processed diet foods I was living on and the sodas and what’s more, it is yummy!

It’s an anti inflammatory diet so works for my old knees and it’s also called the Menopause diet so it works for my foggy brain too! I’m the lightest I’ve been in 5 years (since the arthritis started worming its way in) so hopefully this will be the one!

I’m just lucky to have such supportive friends and husband. I say husband, but unless he reads this he probably isn’t aware he’s been eating Keto dinners.

Luckily it has upped my energy!

Yesterday I’d been on the go all day but it was hot and loud. So I bundled the dogs and the children into the car and went to Bluebell woods for some tree therapy, it was magical and restorative as always!

We got home and I’d settled everyone, even Coco and Dwayne “The Rock” Hamster.

Lee was home from work and I decided to reward myself with a little lay down before Soul Train. ( Soul Train = every evening before bed Lee and I spend at least 10 minutes on our own with each child to fill their happy tanks. It’s their choice what we do and it helps them to know they get their own dedicated time with us and makes them less clingy through the day.)

Not sure it had even been a minute before Ollie came in with his Kindle Fire and lay down next to me.

Ollie “ can you get me something to eat? “

Bear in mind he had already had dinner, pudding and fruit and been eating ALL day! They both had, must be another growth spurt!

Me “What would you like?”

Ollie “ 10 chocolate fingers”

Me “ How about 3?”

Ollie “ but there are 11 left!”

Me “How about 4 and 3 giant strawberries?”

Ollie “Ok”

“Can you go and get it?”

Me “Why do I have to go?”

Ollie “I’ve just got up here!”

I couldn’t help but laugh to this response.

Ollie in all seriousness and the tone I use when I’m reaching my limit, “ Mum, can you just go get it please?! “

Meanwhile Harry had come to join us so I turned over to give him a cuddle to which he turned his head away and said he didn’t want my smelly breath near his eyes as it could burn them!

I went and got the snacks.

Whilst home life with twins, two fur babies and two hamsters might not be relaxing it is full of fun and love and I wouldn’t swap it for the world!

I have to remind myself to make the most of the time we share together because it is precious.

Love n’ hugs, kisses n’ wishes xxx