Would someone please pass me the Valium? I’d settle for a stiff drink! Or both, I mean I do have two hands!

So yesterday started at 04:38 because of the dog, trials and tribulations of having fluffy friends.

Twinkle 1 decided his day would start at 05:43, bang goes my luxurious private bath, in steps 102 questions about where my willy has gone and if I wee out my bum.

He was not feeling breakfast club yesterday morning and let the whole of the school, road, city know about it, but that is not why I need mood altering vices.

Of their own volition the boys have decided to go vegetarian. I have now been bullied in to joining the crusade as “if I eat all the animals where will be none left”.

Lee being the truly scrumptious, supportive husband and daddy that he is went to Farmfoods and stocked up on Quorn products, he bought the whole aisle.

I decided to buy a book. I am one who likes to buy a book to help prep for any life situation and already have a book on hamsters winging its way to me in preparation for the boys birthday end of November.

I digress.

I bought a vegetarian family recipe book for the whole family and picky eaters it said.

The boys did not get that memo!

I’ve made them seedy banana bars, they did not like them. I made them easy cheesy lasagne, they would not eat it. I made them red lentil pasta with crunchy toasted chickpeas and fresh smashed avocado pesto, well that meal could “do one” too.

Why do I bother? Yes I know, because I love them blah blah blah.

Yesterday I was tired. I’d had the stuffing knocked out of me. I already knew the boys would complain about their lovingly slaved over dinner because they are tired too, but I can count on Ollie to at least fill up on pudding.

I usually blackmail them in to eating their dinner with the thought of desert.

For the first time EVER, Ollie complained about his afters. I wasn’t prepared for that, it damn near pushed me over the edge!

They like my fizzy jelly (jelly made with lemonade instead of water) and he’d decided he wanted it with custard ( only Ambrosia will do, they get that from their Dad. He’s not fussy about clothes labels, but when it comes to food, colour him a snob!!) However Ollie decided he only likes warm custard!! I explained to him that you can’t have warm custard with cold jelly, but he wasn’t having none of it and continued to wail in to a sofa cushion.

I picked up his dish, took it in to the kitchen, threw it in to the microwave (literally and it’s plastic, the bowl not the microwave, obvs) and pinged it for 1 minute.

Rather pleased with myself that it had turned in to a two tone liquid I took it back and served it to him.

“Here, this is what happens when you serve jelly with warm custard”

“ ooh yummy” he said with a smile on his face and picked his bowl up and started slurping it from the side.

I looked to Harry for support. He said he wanted the same done to his!!

I brought his microwaved pudding back from the kitchen with a straw for each of them.

Sometimes you just have to give up and laugh xxx

What’s new pussycat? Well I’ve done my knee in again and personally I blame the pig, Peppa Pig that is!

Let me unravel my tale of woe and twisted tendons for you if you will.

It was bed time story time Sunday night and Harry had chosen a Peppa Pig book about George finding a dinosaur skeleton on the beach.

Always looking for something new to do I asked the Twinkles if they fancied trying their hand at fossil hunting. It was a unanimous YES PLEASE!

I turned to my most trusted fact finder and asked Google where the best places for a spot I archaeology were near me. Three places came up, Sand Point, Middle Hope and I already forget the other.

So the next day when they were changed from their school uniforms we grabbed the dogs and set forth on a treasure hunt, they had chosen Middle Hope, I also thought the name sounded positive.

So we popped on Google Maps ( I’m not on commission promise) and headed out. It took us past the bus terminal where our favourite friendly ice cream kiosk is and down to a National Trust car park.

I couldn’t for the life of me get the car park thingy to work so will be looking out for a fine.

It was like the set of cocoon, lots of old people and Ollie and Harry felt it their duty to shout hello and chat to every last one. Tilly was pleased with the pace of the walk, but then she’s not getting any slimmer ( Tilly is a dog.)

There were a lot of steps! It turned out I’d gone the wrong way although on the map it sometimes looked like the right way. So back down the steps we went and up another road which led to some more deep steps, 109 to be precise.

By the time we’d got to the top my knee was already aching and Ollie decided his was too, but we pressed on.

It was in the middle of a field somewhere I realised that Google Maps has eaten most my battery life. Oh dear.

We continued to find ourselves at a cliff edge looking down on the pebble cove that is Middle Hope.

My pep talk about safety, sore knees, dead phone, coming back the next day was lost on Harry who was having none of it and for a four year old that boy can be fierce!

Letting him know I wasn’t happy about it I continued walking and found a very steep path / ragged rock steps that had been worn away with time. Needing to go down backwards, facing in to the hill, edging my way and lifting two dogs and two boys ( not at the same time, I’m not Hercules) down to each level I’d made it to I wondered if I’d made the sensible choice.

We finally made it to the beach and my leg practically gave way. My Fitbit has congratulated me on achieving 10,000 steps quite some time before.

We set about looking for fossils and were handsomely rewarded.

Ollie lost interest about 5 minutes in but luckily had popped some toys in his pockets.

We made the most of it and I didn’t allow the fact we had nothing to eat or drink, mo phone and a few weary legs between us deter us.

It was pretty magical and we named Harry, Harry Hope after the place and due to his tenacity.

Across the cove we noticed a gentle, sloping path leading down to it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we decided to take that path home. Tired but content we used landmarks to make our way back, one being a blue pooh bag hanging in a tree (not ours).

Back down the 109 steps we went and the boys made me run as they heard an ice cream van. It was worth it, my lemonade refresher was wonderful.

We got home, washed our hands, packed my knee with ice and camped out on the sofa until Daddy got home from work.

Happy Days xxx

So the greatly anticipated Monday 6th September 2021 arrived!

The Twinkles got up, bleary eyed from the restless night before, anyone would have thought it was Christmas Eve.

They got dressed in their shiny new uniforms being mindful of cleaning their teeth first. Ollie particularly likes to clean his belly with his toothbrush, it’s a thing.

I say “they” got dressed, but Harry actually had a mini breakdown and could only be cajoled in to his uniform by Lee. I don’t know what form of blackmail he used, but even if it was sweets for breakfast, at this point I was willing to go along with it.

Breakfast was eaten and then a shed load of customary first day photos were taken.

Daddy had been tearfully waved off to work by myself and we were ready to go.

I’d had the forethought to take the day off work so we were able to leisurely stroll to school together.
We passed some teenagers at the bus stop and even though they were trying to be hip, cool and trendy you could see them appreciating how cute the boys looked and maybe reminiscing their first day at primary school so I got them to give the boys a cheer and they were happy to play along.

We saw our neighbours walking towards us having dropped their older children off at the same school so we turned the pavement in to a catwalk and showed off the new uniforms. Ollie was oh so willing to strut his stuff.

We got to the school, unsure where to go and a friendly teacher suggested we head to the office.
Harry asked me where the office was and I acknowledged I didn’t have a clue but we headed the way she had pointed.

We arrived, ready to be let in, only to find out Mummy had got the wrong day.

What a plonker!

Ollie broke down, he’d been so excited. So the whole walk home was filled with making delicious plans for the next two days and apologising to my boss.

First to get changed in to civvies, then to get water balloons and bubble mixture, next to attend the meet the teacher session, finally to get to a water park!

With everything going on I nearly ran late for the teacher meeting which wouldn’t have been good as ours is actually the head teacher.

Me upon arrival “ gosh we were super early to start school and nearly late for our meeting with you”

Harry “ yes Mummy lost her bloody car keys”

Silence, tumble weed.

Enter a lovely teacher to take the boys to the playground and show them around.

Continue like it never happened, just a figment of the imagination, move along there’s nothing to see here.

It was a beautiful sunny day and we had Brean Splash pretty much to ourselves. The boys had their first swim in a big pool and took to it like ducks to water, literally. So much so we went swimming again yesterday.

We treated the two surplus days as extra bonus time and made the most of every last second.

Today the boys start school.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

The big day is here! Not just because it’s Nanny Pat’s birthday! Big school! All shiny shoes and knobbly knees!

The Twinkles are excited and looking forward to meeting friends they made at the induction day.

Everything is ready, school uniforms named, bags tagged and I remembered to do their homework. Correction they did their homework, well most of it, well at least until they got bored. They had to do a poster about them. Two very different posters indeed. Harry’s was all super heroes, sharks, snails, dogs, sweets and family and Ollie just told me his had to be “beautiful”, so it’s full of rainbows, unicorns, glitter, sunglasses (he does love a pair of shades) sweets and family.

I’m part of a Whatsapp group, Little Bears (their nursery) leavers 2021. It’s a lovely little support network, but they’re mainly chatting about feeling emosh because their little ones are growing up so fast and how are they going to get through drop off without crying. I’m sorry, but I’m wondering how long I have to wait before I can run home (probably won’t run) and jump (probably won’t jump) in the hot tub! Note so self, check hot tub has water in it! Rooky mistake otherwise.

It’s been a tough old week with one thing and another, I ended up having a bit of a melt down. Ollie can be VERY needy (yes I know he gets it from me) and sometimes gets in to a cycle of asking me for things one after the other, bam, bam, bam, sometimes even asking me for stuff whilst I’m still getting the previous lot of stuff. Our conversation went a little like this,

Me “ Ollie, I know you want me to blow up your balloon and then draw a face on it, but I’m just seeing to yours and Harry’s second breakfast and then I need to feed the dogs and take the washing out. I will do it, but I haven’t even had a cup of tea yet and I’ve been up since 5am”

Ollie fake crying, crocodile tears not streaming down his face “oh but Mummy ppllllleeeeeeaaaassse, I really want you to blow up my balloon”

Me “ Ollie I have said I would do it! I just gave some other things I need to tend to first. I haven’t done anything for me yet. Have you done anything for me yet?”

The question was rhetorical, but Ollie nodded his head emphatically.

Me “ really? What have you done for me?”

Ollie in a very little voice “I’ve made you happy!”

Me, smiling, melting, totally over it and scooching him up in to a big, bear hug “ yes you have Ollie, you have made me so, so happy, because you are our sunbeam”

On that note it’s time to let festivities commence. Harry has already been down and had a little paddy I didn’t take him on the dog walk at 5am. Don’t think it was really about the missed dog walk.

I remember Harry’s first day of nursery. It took three people to carry him in kicking and screaming! He’s bigger now! I’m going to need to wear a bodysuit today!

Oh well, love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

I love this time in the morning, it’s all mine. Well apart from yesterday when little Harry decided to join me.

It wasn’t a choice as such, he’d had another bad night and even though Lee went up to sleep in the spare bed in their room, he still ended up in bed with me.

It’s all the change from nursery to school, saying goodbye to friends on a daily basis. Not having access to a mobile or facebook which brings the longevity and reassurance of friendship.

What do you do when your little one is having actual night terrors that make him scared to go to bed? Drug him that’s what! In all seriousness, we’ve found a Rescue Remedy night meltlets suitable for all the family. Made from white horse chestnut flower which helps calm anxiety and aid sleep. It tastes of orange, I tried them out first, obvs. The boys love them, they call them their magic happy dream flower tablet (catchy) and perfect for a short term solution whilst the Twinkles transition in to school.

Anyway, I turned to Harry who had covered his face with his blanket and was rigid as a board and he told me he was really scared of the dark. I moved the dog so he could snuggle up next to me (shock horror she sleeps in our bed! Well you try reasoning with her!) and Holly cuddled up to his back making a safe, secure, Harry sandwich. He turned to me and told me my breath stinks.

In other news, I had another one of those funny conversations with Ollie the other early evening, it went something like this,

Me “Ollie, could you please stop mucking around and get ready for bed, it’s been a long old day and I’m really tired”

Ollie “ I’m pooped too! I had a really hard day at work today!”

Me “ what, at nursery?”

Ollie “ yes, I work there and I have a really important job”

Right, Harry felt vibes that I was too happy and has come downstairs and is now sharing my bath. Apparently he woke himself up with a very loud fart! The boy’s a charmer!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxxx

That there fox is picking on me! Was at our bins again last night. Maybe he likes the cut of our jib or the taste of our mouldy potatoes.

It’s only 06:31 and I’ve already learned something new! I thought cut of the jib was something to do with the shape of your collar or some other such clothing related topic. Turns out it descended from pirates in the 17th century. The expression refers to the forward sail on most ships. The course and speed of a ship is determined by the cut of the ships jib so saying that you like the cut of someones jib is a way of saying, I like the way you’re heading. Who knew? Well all of us now for starters! Oh it is fun to talk like a pirate!

Anywho, Harry has also been picking on me! We trotted off to Toytown yesterday to seal my brothers bath because that’s the way we roll and we are very rock and roll! I say we, the boys Netflix and chilled with an apple squash and a bag of cola bottles.

We then treated ourself to a picnic in the park behind Grandads and feeding the ducks. It may sound leisurely, but mainly involved Dad and I chasing the boys around different areas of the park and stopping them from hurling frozen peas at a swan! Plus Harry was desperate to go on this zip wire that you have to swing from instead of being able to sit on something and being of a gangly nature with arms like two pin plugs he doesn’t have the upper body strength yet. Needless to say he fell off, on his face with an almighty thud. Over I dutifully ran and he just lay there still. I picked him up and he was lifeless. His eyes were open and then I realised he was smiling which turned into laughter. The cheeky little monkey had played dead to tease me!

Cant complain about them, well I can, but the chap in the queue before us in Subway actually gave me a £1 and asked me to buy them some sweets because they were so well behaved! How nice is that? Lee said I should have told him it’s a fiver for good behaviour, slapping my hands Gordon Ramsay style.

Right, Lee’s up early and crashing about downstairs which means the end of my delicious bath. Until tomorrow my friend (I’m talking to the bath!)

Ooh and day 1 of Skinny Dippers went really well! I’ll be a skinny minx before you know it!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes!

Blinking fox got at the bins again, coleslaw carnage all over our drive way. Lee offered to clear it up, but I knew it was a result of me not Tetris stacking the recycling like he does and cleared up my own mess.

It was so gross and I actually felt quite bad for breaking up the snail and slug tea party, they were having a whale of a time. One little snail actually looked woeful when I peeled him off the lettuce leaf I was about to throw in the compost bag. Trust me buddy, you didn’t want to be in there

I was amazed at the speed of one of the big blighters and wondered if he’d happened across my strength 6 Java lava coffee granules.

I started writing this Saturday, must have got waylaid! It’s like when you’re in the middle of a text conversation with someone and it ends abruptly and you think, ay’up where’d they go? Imagine if that happened in real life, you were there chatting face to face with someone all hunkydory and they just upped and left. Or they ghosted you to your face, that would just be odd and slightly rude.

Talking of rude, Lee was taking the stepmonsters home (remember, I’m not being mean, we’re the stepmonster gang) and I was finding Peppa Pig on the telebox for Ollie. Harry was supposed to be in the bath upstairs when I noticed his naked, gangly self streaking past the lounge door. I went upstairs to start Soul Train with Harry. Soul Train is 10 minutes 1 on 1 time each adult has with each child where they get our undivided attention and we get down and silly in the child ego state, yes I learned about it in my positive parenting class and it’s working wonders for their confidence and feeling of belonging and it’s fun. I didn’t realise how much time I wasted being a parent and not just enjoying my children.

As I was saying. I went upstairs to see Harry and he was laughing his head off. Turns out he’d left the bathroom which has a toilet in it, to run downstairs naked and wee in the garden. Why? Because he could! Well it didn’t do anyone any harm, but I explained to him why he shouldn’t. I couldn’t remonstrate him having tested a Shewee in the courtyard of our old house, whilst tipsy with Kayleigh. I did have my clothes on though.

It was a night for it because as Ollie got out the bath later he started to have a wee in the loo and then turned round and did a little drop in the bath where it was emptying out. Don’t worry, I cleared it up.

Well that’s enough about wee! I should probably get this Monday morning party started! I need to weigh in! Have started a mini diet group at work called the Skinny Dippers! Back on the loosing weight train! I should be my target weight at least by the time I’m 97! Only joking x 1lb a week, slow but steady, healthy and sustainable!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So it turns out I may have poisoned the husband, not on purpose I hasten to add! Coleslaw was the culprit, fizzy coleslaw, with a way to go yet on its expiry date. Oh well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and slimmer on this occasion, although I wouldn’t recommend fizzy coleslaw as a diet regime.

I received a card from my Godmother Nancy last night. It brought happy tears to my eyes and the kick up the bottom to get back in to the flow of writing again.

She told me a lovely story about my Mum which warmed my heart and made me feel hugged by her.

Harry ambled over whilst I was washing the dishes (been a year, but I still keep forgetting we have a dishwasher) He questioned the goofy look on my face and I told him I was thinking about my Mum, here’s the conversation word for word,

Harry “ who is your Mum?”

Me “Nanny Jenny”

Harry “ can we see her?”

Me “ no because she’s gone to heaven and is an angel now or maybe even your fairy Grandmother”

Harry “ oh, is she the orange bits in the sky?”

Me “ what do you mean?”

Harry “ you know when we see the sun rise and we say it’s a hello from Nanny Jenny, is she the orange bits?”

Me “ I’m not sure about that Harry, but she is everywhere you just have to listen for her”

Harry “ is she in our house?”

Me “ maybe, I know she does come and visit us to make sure we’re okay and let us know she is looking out for us”

Harry “ she isn’t in the oven is she?” He says, pointing at the oven which I’d recently turned on.

Dear old Harry, always makes me laugh. Which is good as he is going through a phase which makes me want to scream!

Bedtime is hard, but I’m taking a parenting course which I believe is helping, but not as quickly as one would like.

The fourth time I put him to bed last night the dog ate my dinner off the side! I decided Dad would want me to finish the wine he left, for medicinal purposes.

Some days you have to search for the things that make you happy, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t there!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx

So, another trip to A&E last night, seriously feel like we are becoming regulars! Harry this time for a change!

There we all were, early evening, tinkering away. I was running the boys a bath when I heard an almighty scream from down stairs. As a parent, you know the real ones.

I went running downstairs as quick as my poorly knee would allow me, which shockingly wasn’t that fast, could have been beaten by a 93 year old with a walking stick.

Ollie exited the lounge looking somewhat sheepish and looked up at me to simply say it was Harry’s fault.

I got in to the lounge just as Harry was climbing out from behind the sofa, claret everywhere. It was like a scene from a Stephen King movie, I mean the boy was COVERED in blood.

I picked him up and carried him in to the kitchen, not because I was worried about the carpet (it’s already past it), but I needed more light. I instructed Ollie to get Harry a chair to sit on which he did without hesitation. It was only when Ollie came back that he noticed Harry was dripping in blood and he immediately ran upstairs to get Daddy, what good instincts the boy has.

Together we checked his vitals and stopped the bleeding.

Harry has a high pain threshold so for him to be literally screaming that it hurt was not like him at all.

Daddy calmly gave him Calpol and a cuddle whilst I got everything for a trip to to the hospital.
Harry then did the scariest thing ever, he laid down on the floor and said he just needed to sleep! That certainly put the fear of God in us!

Driving to hospital with the windows open, music on and trying to keep Harry awake, but he told me it hurt to talk so I was conflicted.

I carried him in to A&E and got to reception with Harry falling asleep on my shoulder. I tried to stay calm but relayed to the receptionist that this was out of character and Harry had received a rock to the face and we’re talking rock not pebble.

I started to feel Harry stir and then noticed a lovely family, with a boy only slightly older than Harry, all pulling faces at him and waving to help me keep him awake.

A children’s nurse came straight over and explained this was probably just shock and the time of night (19:30 by then) and that it was okay for him to sleep as long as we were able to wake him easily.

The place was already packed, but we managed to find a seat by the far wall and I nestled a very floppy Harry into a Mummy bear hug, gentle on his face.

I’d remembered to pick up a bottle (squash not vodka) to replace the fluids Harry had lost which he guzzled down appreciatively.

Harry started chatting to the lovely people around us, but I had to suggest to him that he didn’t start his story with Ollie kicking him in the head, because it was likely more of a tap and they might think badly of him.

He then shouted hello across the waiting room to the lovely family and continued to pull faces at them all, which progressed in to actually doing “the worm” (a dance move) on the hospital floor as he got better. I explained he might want to be a little less energetic as we’d only just managed to get his nose to stop bleeding and there was still a steady dribble.

The little boy had broken his arm and when it was time for them to go home, Harry actually cried. Such a lovely family, chatting to and taking care of everyone. They’d popped over from Wales for a light weekend which had ended in a breakage.

We finally got seen and Harry got the all clear to go home with a leaflet about how to treat a head wound.

The staff were amazing! So friendly, caring and professional. It was a busy Saturday night in the Summer holidays and they remained calm and took everything in their stride, not letting on how tired, under staffed, under paid they are.

When we got home, Lee tucked us both up in bed and made sure we had everything we needed, running up and down 3 flights of stairs for add ons we requested and letting us know we could sleep safely because he would take care of everything for us.

Harry did us proud! He was a delight! Which says a lot as he’d been a little **** most the day!

This morning over breakfast with the Twinkles I finally got to the bottom of what happened, here’s Ollies version of events:-

“So, Harry was trying to die me and he was down on the floor behind the sofa, so I used my super skills to do a scissor kick and the fairy rock house fell off the window on to his face, because I have all the strength and I’m stronger than my brother” all said with smile on face, in a deep voice (as deep as a 4.5 year old can manage) whilst flexing his muscles.

This was a relief because for a split second I was envisioning the rock scene from Lord of The Flies and that’s a whole other level of counselling and parenting skills needed!

So this is us! Today we’ll make the most of being okay, being together and being a family, especially in mind of what has just happened in Plymouth.

It’s a day to hug your loved ones and remind them how much they mean to you xxx

Well that was a rough old night, lucky if I cobbled together 4 hours sleep! 

The dog had an aversion to its worming tablets (bum worms as Harry calls it), the other dog snored its little tail off and practically sucked the curtains in, something bit me (not the dogs or the twins or the husband) and Harry picked a fight with someone in his sleep.

But I’m here now, in a warm bubble bath, with a cup of tea and on my own, knowing every delicious tranquil second is borrowed!

I’m falling apart at the moment, done something to my knee. Had to visit the physio yesterday who said something about torn ligaments and muscles, was hard to hear over Harry twanging the door stopper.

When the physio was giving me my exercises, in a desperate attempt to demonstrate that the Twinkles really are quite lovely and not completely mischievous, I included them in the conversation by saying we like to do our Joe Wicks workouts together. Floor opener for Ollie who showed Ed (the physiotherapist) his guns and said “look at my muscles!” With a cute little goofy smile to follow.

Me “ the boys really do like to help me”
Harry wide eyed and huge smile “ yes, we like to hit Mummy on the back REALLY hard!”

Me, floor please open and swallow me.

Ollie “ yes we do, really hard and it’s really funny!”

It’s fair to say Ed was a little lost for words and looked at me for an explanation.

Me, slightly embarrassed “ I had bad trapped wind the other day and had to ask the boys to break it up for me “

Ed “oh right and they certainly made the most of that!”

Harry “yes it was awesome!”

We then had a date with Grandad in Toytown at Space Adventure which was perfect for the English summer we are having as it’s indoors.
They had fun, they drank liquidised sugar abd then ran it off.

Harry came out with some battle wounds, he didn’t seem distressed by it so I decided to discuss it later when we weren’t surrounded by screaming banshees.

Harry told me a boy had thrown a ball at him, then kicked him in the back and then pulled his hair.

Upon deeper delving this was my sum up:-

“ so you threw a ball which hit a boy who was smaller than you. He then threw the ball at you so you threw it back at him so he pushed you, you fell over and he pulled your hair a little bit? So you started it?”

Harry laughing “yes”

Me “ do you think that is okay?”

Harry still laughing “ no it’s ridiculous!”

Not much I could say to that! I can hear my little angels waking up so time to gulp the tea and bring on this new day!

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx