Blue

Here’s the thing, I will always be honest and open with you so please try not to judge me on this one, although I already am.

I had a chat with Ollie and we decided to write a blog about this to raise awareness if you will. 

It all started the other day when I decided to attack my step daughter’s bedroom. Gosh, I bet you were wondering what I was going to say then with that build up!

She just didn’t seem to have any space and I was pretty sure there might be things living under the bed.

I asked if she wanted us to do it together or whether she wanted it done as a surprise for her return visit, well I fell for that one didn’t I?!

Ollie decided he wanted to help me and do something nice for his sister. It was a very therapeutic job and we filled two bin bags of literal rubbish. 

Her room hadn’t been touched since we moved in nearly 5 years ago so there were plenty of childhood toys that were no longer of interest. We put them together in a no longer used fairy treasure chest but I wanted them to go to friends as I was sentimentally attached to them. 

Part of the treasure was a pair of twin baby dolls, given to her when the boys were born. Ollie fell in love with one instantly. The other had a pen stain on their face and Ollie is rather particular. 

Well he was so happy with it. He named it Blue, dressed it, cuddled it and talked to it, they even had a little boogie at one point. 

Meanwhile I carried on with the hard work. 

When the room was finished it looked so inviting and spacious. A simple movement of the bed from middle of the room to the side opened it up. I passed it over to Lee who dusted, scrubbed, hoovered and deep cleaned until it sparkled as much as the fairy lights he’d put in there. 

The room was transformed from a child’s room to a teenagers. 

Off I went downstairs to make dinner but Ollie looked upset. He asked me what he should do with Blue and I said to bring him. 

He came up to me later, I’m so glad the boys feel they can talk to me, it’s so important. He said 

“Mum I feel weird!”

“Why do you feel weird Ollie?”

“Mum, is it weird I like baby dolls and want to play with them? ‘

I had thought to myself I hope he doesn’t get teased by his friends but then he’s not going to be taking Blue to school, football or cubs so it should be okay. 

“Ollie, shall we Google it? My answer to everything”

And here’s what the first answer was,

No, it is not considered “weird” for an 8-year-old boy to play with baby dolls; playing with dolls is a normal part of childhood development and can provide valuable benefits like nurturing and empathy skills, regardless of gender. 

Key points to remember: 

• Developmental benefits:
  Playing with dolls can help children develop important social-emotional skills like caring for others, empathy, and nurturing behaviors. 
  
• No gender restrictions:
  Toys should not be strictly categorized by gender, and children should be encouraged to play with whatever interests them. 
  
• Concerns about stigma:
  If you are concerned about potential teasing, it’s important to talk to your child about the benefits of playing with different types of toys and to encourage inclusivity.

All the other answers were pretty much the same. 

Well this made Ollie VERY happy and he squeezed the bejesus out of Baby Blue.

I asked Harry what he thought about the doll and his response was

“It’s just got such a big shiny head I just want to grab it by the legs and smash it against the wall”

He reassured me he would not feel the same way if it were a real baby. 

Isn’t it wrong that of the two responses to a baby doll, the one of violence is the easiest to process?

I’ve always prided myself on being open and accepting. I was cross with myself that I was worried about Ollie getting teased and instead I should be encouraging of this nurturing behaviour. What’s more, Ollie had been having trouble sleeping, but he tucked Blue in and slept next to him the whole night. 

It’s going to take a while for stigma to subside but maybe when the boys have children they won’t have to worry about what toys they want to play with. To be clear, Lee and I didn’t have a problem with it, but were concerned about him being teased. 

In other news, Harry had a bit of extra energy day yesterday which landed him in trouble. Last night I was giving him an extra big cuddle and smelling his head as you do and I whispered to him,

“Harry I love you so much! I know we have to tell you off sometimes but I want you to know we are so very proud of you and wouldn’t change a hair on your head xxx”

To which he replied,

“Mum, you literally took me for a haircut last week!”

Well that did make me chuckle! 

Love and hugs, kisses n’ wishes xxx