AWOL xxx

It is fair to say my brain has been absent without leave. Cluttered with the sheer horror of relocating my brother with MS and Aspergers and his carer from Weston-super-Mare to Taunton. 

You know you get those tasks you need to do and you get so worked up and all of a dither about them and then wonder afterwards why you were so worried about it in the first place?

This was not one of them! 

08:00 Sunday morning I get a call to say:-

a) the lift is out of order so the external fire escape will have to be used – they are 3 floors up in a converted hotel.

b) they have run out of boxes and are only half way through packing.

c) basically, the proverbial poo has hit the fan!

Plan A completely in tatters I drive over to assess the situation. Even though I had not slept the night before through anxiety of the removal men not turning up etc I had still not imagined the extent of absolute chaos that would great me. 

My brother and his carer are very private people and I had not been allowed access to the flat for at least two years. 

I walked in and was completely overwhelmed. I called my husband to say I did not know what to do or how I was going to fix this. I was nearly in tears. He offered to swap places and I go home and look after our 4 children, but I was already locked in and needed to complete this task. 

I sat down on the floor with my head in my hands and tried to work out the logistics of what needed to be accomplished that day. 

The removal men worked around me, all speaking to each other in a foreign language, but still making it clear this was the worst job they’d been on in a while and had I noticed that there was actually dog excrement on the fire escape?

I then received a text from my husband which read:- 

Babe I know its all gone to 💩 but you are amazing at sorting 💩situations out you are clever and intelligent you can do this if its a choice of them losing the deposit then that’s what its going to be if you need more money just ask we all love you xxx please dont over do it with your knees people are there to work for you x

It was all the sugar I needed. It literally kick started me in to action. I was in charge, I was calling the shots and what I decided to do was what was going to happen! 

The rest of the day was a blur between climbing up and down that rusty fire escape with my arthritic knees and drives to and from WSM. 

Lisa stepped in to oversee the removal men arriving her end, sprung into action like the whipper snapper she is and was ready with the most wonderful hug for my first arrival. 

I walked into the new place and commented on how delicious it smelled.

The lead removal man turned to me and in very broken English said,

“Yes, it smell much better!!”

It was literally the only thing he said to me all day and it made us all laugh. 

A stranger showered us with kindness. Joel (my brothers carer) and I had about a car load left, at least 3 more goes each up and down the fire escape, when a chap opened his back door and said to bring the final lot through his flat and use their lift and move my car to the front of his building. It saved us a good hour. I must write him a thank you note and pop a little something inside. 

I finally finished at 16:30. I realised I had not eaten or drunk anything all day. There had been opportunity on the car journeys, but I believed the emptiness was giving me the extra adrenaline and if I broke the fast the fatigue might set in too early. 

I parked up outside my front door and the thought of walking another two steps was unbearable. Lee appeared at my car door to usher me in. I was in a warm bubble bath with a cup of tea within 15 minutes. 

I actually still can’t believe that it is over. 

I have put procedures in place to make sure it never happens again, it’s the second time now and a third would definitely break me! Or maybe not, but I’m not willing to put that theory to the test. 

Lee does not have the sort of family who help each other out and I don’t have ones that are capable. The positive outlook is that it has drawn us all the more closer together, we have been there for each other through thick and thin and are blessed with extremely good friends and Grandad. 

4 days later and I’m starting to feel my sparkle come back, mainly through the Twinkles who have more love and laughter to give than I thought possible – okay, that made me feel a bit sick in my mouth, but it’s true! 

Here’s a few snippets from the boys that have kept me going. 

I had arranged for my sister from another mister and her daughter (the boys always call her their cousin) to come visit. We’d decided to keep it a surprise but I couldn’t help but tell the boys I had a secret, even though I managed to keep it and was counting down the days. 

Harry turned to me and said,

“Mum, this surprise in two days, I have to tell you, I am going to be disappointed if I have to wait two days for a toothbrush! Is it a new inhaler? Is it something medical?”

It’s easy to say my surprise exceeded his expectations and for some reason this really tickled me. 

I collected the boys from Future Stars on Monday and asked them how it went. They were both obviously very happy and Oli gave me a blow by blow account of the day to include break for snacks and what his friends had said etc. Don’t ask me because I switched off and it took the whole journey home. As we parked up I turned to Harry and asked if he had anything he wanted to add to that and he gave me the biggest smile and told me he had a mahusive poo and it had blocked the toilets. 

Before bed the other night we were watching TikTok together, part of our wind down ritual. We watched an act that had received the golden buzzer on Britains Got Talent. It was the most beautiful, diverse, group street dance performed to the song Celestial with the most amazing light effects activated in time to the music. It took my breath away and made me feel spiritual. That is until Harry started singing the song and instead of Celestial truly believed they sang So Lesbian! 

There have been some other randoms, not sure if I’ve already shared them with you? Like the time, out of nowhere, Harry said,

“ Mum, when I’m older can you not slam my head into a cake please?”

Or the fact that Oli thought sports socks were called wrinkle socks not ankle socks ❤️

Well today I have the task of making sure my brothers special bed arrives, have just read the reviews, it’s not hopeful! 

Best be off, love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx