Well it all started Friday night with a curry. Not overly exciting I hear you mutter, but having been on the Keto diet for a few months and only just realising one can still have an Indian takeaway is like having your cake and eating it, only with Indian food.
N.B being Keto is like being vegan, I have to let everyone know! I have rights.
Anyways, who would have thought Saag Paneer a healthy option? Spinach smothered in cheese. It was so good my little fluffy friend didn’t get a look in! Not a morsel left on my plate to snuffle up, she snorted in disgust and left my side. If you know my Tilly, you can imagine this to be true.
Whilst it was off the scale delicious it was rich and my stomach didn’t know what to do with itself and was very vocal about the whole situation. It deliberated about it all night until it was finally time to get up.
Ooh I’ll just nip downstairs to the loo whilst I have a minute I thought to myself. With that I heard the steps of Harry. Weighing in at 25kg you’d think he’d be pretty quiet but he has the stealth mode of a drunk elephant in stilettos after a night on the town.
I ushered him downstairs in his oodie and slipper crocs followed by the fur babies.
Plonked Harry in the lounge with his tablet. The boys are currently doing a timetable Rockstar competition on line against the other year 3 class and obsessed with it. Ollie won the first one for his class, just saying x another right!
Now time for the loo.
Nope, the dogs are looking all dewy eyed and if Tilly could point at her mouth I think she would. Until now I thought it was doughy eyed and never once have I been corrected. How did I survive all those years without Google? Wait, I mean doe-eyed! That’s what they were doing. Look let’s just agree the dogs were guilting me into feeding them before my trip to the porcelain throne.
I have totally just realised I’ve been having an argument with myself and brought you along for the ride. Happy Sunday!
Anyways, dogs fed there’s a clunk at the kitchen gate and Harry is upset the service is so shocking and would also like his breakfast NOW.
To feed the boy I need to empty the dishwasher. No I can’t just take one thing out and leave the rest, it’s unnatural and makes me feel uncomfortable.
Dishwasher emptied and breakfast made I call Harry to the gate for collection but he has his headphones on so off I trundle to the lounge with his plate of fun. Stomach getting angrier by the minute and almost having to walk cross legged.
On my way back I pass Ollie. I try to look pleased to see him but he too is STARVING and has a headache and could I have a quick look at a spot on his bottom?
I achieve all of the above admiring the strength of my sphincter muscle and pleased for the hours spent exercising my pelvic floor!
We have a baby gate to keep the dogs in the kitchen / conservatory when needed. Useful for weekend mornings when I’m trying to get them to abide by the “don’t wake daddy” rule.
It was foiling me. Could have been my now clammy hands. Why is it that we sweat when we REALLY need the loo? That was rhetorical, but for those interested, vasovagal response! My goodness it’s a learning day today!
Apparently girls glow, they don’t sweat, but glowing wouldn’t have hindered my opening of that pesky baby gate!
Dogs fed, watered and relieved, children fed and watered, dishwasher emptied I finally made my way to the toilet. Almost an hour after initially getting up.
I settle myself on the seat with a sigh of relief only for the door to be opened by Harry requesting the new wifi code!
In the words of John McEnroe “you have got to be kidding me!”
My work colleagues wonder why I like our toilets so much, they really are nothing fancy, but I can just go to them without talking to anyone and be completely on my own and they have a lock! Yes the toilet is one of my favourite work perks! I’m easily pleased and Keto, don’t forget Keto!
Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx
A cheeky little Twinkle update xxx 