Have a word xxx

I love a Monday, always have, always will.

Fresh start to the week, new beginnings, a chance to wipe the slate clean and start again.

It’s a forgiveness for things that have passed before.

Ha! Do you see? It was a trap! Not for you, goodness no, for me and I’ve grown wise to myself and coming clean.

All of the happy go lucky, rainbows and candyfloss stuff above are true.

BUT!

Yes a big but, spelt with just one T, this is not a story about my posterior although that too would be large!

I have put on a full pesky 3lbs this week.

Zut alors!

Something this damaging needs an old fashioned French expletive.

While I’m writing this I’m seeing a black and white silent movie with a dastardly villain tying a poor over acting maiden to a rail track and piano plinky plonk music revving up the scene.

Both the villan and the maiden are playing the part of my brain!

Usually I would scoff at the scale! Pah, 3lbs on! Just need a poo and it’s Monday after all so back on track and better results next week. I would even give myself a mental pat on the back for being so upbeat about it and having a tenacious attitude.

Here in lies the ruse.

It’s not okay and I have been naughty and I need to step it up a gear and get back on track!

This bank holiday weekend I have gotten drunk and eaten gluten, more than once! Okay, if that’s all I’ve got to admit to I’m doing pretty well. It’s not like I’m mugging old ladies for Mars bars or injecting heroin in my eyes balls, but still it’s self sabotage and just not healthy.

Gosh, writing is so therapeutic. I’ve just realised something. I feel awful for poisoning my son. Well you would wouldn’t you? We’re pretty sure that all little Ollies maladies are linked to Coeliac Disease, but to be sure, to be sure (Father Ted) we’re having to feed him gluten every meal of every day for the next 6 months.

If you are a Coeliac your body can’t digest gluten and it creates antibodies to fight it off. The only way of knowing if you’re coeliac is by testing for these antibodies and eating gluten.

Each meal he doesn’t really want to eat and often needs a lie down afterwards.

As Ollie pointed out, the test will end near his birthday in November. Thanks Oz, way to make a Mum feel even worse!

Unfortunately he needs to be diagnosed by a GP for it to be formerly recognised at school or medically if needed at a later date.

Whilst every ounce of me wants to just give up, what if it isn’t that? So on with the poisoning son it’s for your own good.

Anyway, back to me. I blame Sunday School. I was sent to one of those massive churches as a child, it was very cold and scary with real gargoyles and filled with old people with sour faces, but the one thing I learned was that I could do whatever l liked and I’d be forgiven. I was young and impressionable. I also rang the bells, a la Quasimodo, a campanoligist and that was fun! I even went on a bell ringing tour although I’m not sure I should admit to that. Street cred, meet the toilet.

I’m much more partial to a small, warm, church hall where the pastor wears jeans and we shout out a few “Hallelujahs” and sing, clap and hug. I haven’t been in about 30 years, but I think it would be good for the boys to go. I always felt it helped to have a solid morale compass, but maybe the bible could do with a bit of updating and cut out all the homophobic bits, I think that’s what put me off. However I have been reading that the bible is not homophobic only individuals who choose to cherry pick and misinterpret things and if the bible truly is against same sex relationships then we should also not be eating shell fish and we should stand on one leg every now and then.

Blimey, it’s turning into a ranty kind of day. Good luck Lee when you get up.

So, getting back on track, this morning I’ve had a strawberry, banana and vanilla protein shake for breakfast. I’ll have the same for lunch followed by a severe word with myself and dust for dinner! Ooh and I’ll throw in a 20 minute cycle for good measure and think I should not be playing Toonblast whilst doing it but giving it a bit more welly.

At the end of the day, we all just need to get along and be kind to each other. I’m always up for celebrating love.

Love and hugs, kisses and wishes xxx