Knowledge x x x

I literally don’t know where I’d be without Google! I use it at least once or twice a day! What did I do before? How did I cope? Did I have the same thirst for knowledge as I do now with it so readily available at my fingertips?

Harry and Ollies go to is most definitely YouTube. Apparently I don’t pronounce it right? They are protective over it like a school friend. I get a lot of random information which I then check on Google.

The other morning. I’d only just woken up, barely wiped the sleep out of my eyes (anyone else now singing the Monkees? Bonus point if you can name the song) when Ollie shook me, patted me on the face and said,

“Mum, mum, MUM, did you know that snails are more deadly than sharks?”

Me “no”

“Mum, yes Mum, sharks kill only 1 person a year but snails kill 10’000 a day!!!”

Well that just made me snort and roar with laughter! Okay, now I’m awake!

I would ask Alexa but we’re not on speaking terms at the moment because she is worse behaved than my children! Tilly my Westie is still the best!

Google, come to my aid!

So I’m laughing and searching, and then “Oh’ing” and frowning and reading some more and then oh my gosh.

So the fact of the matter is this, the freshwater snail IS deadly and kills more humans than sharks, lions and wolves combined! 200,000 a year to be precise! Well goodness me! I won’t go in to details in case you are eating your cornflakes!

So Harry pipes up to tell me that I can now start eating snails again!

ONE TIME, IT WAS ONE TIME, in Paris and it’s good to try new things.

I remember standing in Tesco waiting to pay at the till during the “Harry and Ollie love snails so much they want 59 for pets” stage when Ollie looked up at me with big, baby eyes (better even than Puss in Boots could muster) and whimpered “mum, you won’t eat our pet snails will you?”

Mortifying!

Right, we’re off to a water park to celebrate Stepmonster 2’s birthday today! We’ve already done cake for breakfast and presents and new birthday clothes!

For those who don’t know and before you reach for the phone to call Childline, we have a Stepmonster gang, I’m their Stepmonster and they are mine x we made it up years ago in the spirit of inclusivity.

Toodle pips lovely people xxx